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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married beforethey are 30, as this is best both for individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married beforethey are 30, as this is best both for individual and for society. v. 1
Today, researching family genealogy is increasingly gaining popularity among people. The main reason behind this trend is curiosity and new technological advances. In my opinion, this is a positive development which helps people have a knowledge of family history and comes with health benefits. There are a growing number of people who are digging into their genealogical roots. The chief reason is that people are very curious about their family lineage. For example, before the technological developments, people used to listen to stories, which is told by their grandparents or parents, as to their family tree. In other words, people have relied on oral information whether is reliable or not, about family history. However, new technologies such as DNA and the internet allow people to access to accurate information about their family tree. Therefore, genealogical research has gained popularity. Tracing family lineage can be considered a positive development that provides reliable information and substantial health benefits. One of the greatest benefits of it is that people access to reliable the documented information about their ancestors, which are about who they are, where they lived, and whether they have fame or not and more. Even better, digging into a family tree can allow people to find inheritable diseases such as heart diseases, cancer, and obesity which are passed on from one generation to another. For instance, if a genetic disorder can be detected in family health history, people can effectively prepare for those possibilities. Thus, the popularity of genealogical research plays an important role in people’s lives. In conclusion, tracing family history is a growing trend among curious people. In my opinion, genealogical research is a positive development because it can greatly play an important role in people’s lives due to that it offers accurate information about family history as well as early diagnosis of inheritable diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
genealogy is
increasingly
gaining popularity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The main reason behind this trend is curiosity and new technological advances. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with health benefits.

There are a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are digging into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genealogical
roots. The chief reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
lineage.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to listen to stories, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by their grandparents or parents, as to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have relied on oral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
whether is reliable or not, about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
However
, new technologies such as DNA and the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access to accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genealogical
research has gained popularity.

Tracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
lineage can
be considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
that provides reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and substantial health benefits. One of the greatest benefits of it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access to reliable the documented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about their ancestors, which are about who they are, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, and whether they have fame or not and more. Even better, digging into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tree can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find inheritable diseases such as heart diseases, cancer, and obesity which
are passed
on from one generation to another.
For instance
, if a genetic disorder can
be detected
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
effectively
prepare for those possibilities.
Thus
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genealogical
research plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, tracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a growing trend among curious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genealogical
research is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
greatly
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to that it offers accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as well
as early diagnosis of inheritable diseases.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married beforethey are 30, as this is best both for individual and for society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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