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These days, many people are interested in buying organic food even though it is oftenmore expensive than conventionally produced food. What are some reasons that people prefer organic food? Do you think it is importantto buy organic food despite the higher v.1

These days, many people are interested in buying organic food even though it is oftenmore expensive than conventionally produced food. What are some reasons that people prefer organic food? Do you think it is importantto buy organic food despite the higher v. 1
Some people say that children have the right to choose their careers freely, therefore, parents should not force their children to pursue a certain job. I partly agree with the idea as it will hinder children's possibility in the future and no ones can take responsibility of one's life but yourself. However, it is understandable that parents want to give some advice on their children's future, wishing for the best for their offspring. Children should be able to choose their occupations freely because it is their own lives and they have the right to do so. Pursuing a desired career encourages children to study harder and gives a sense of independence and responsibility. If they choose their professions by themselves, they will not give up their careers easily, and they will gain more satisfaction from work. On the other hand, if they had been forced to choose an uninterested job, it would be stressful to continue the job and they are more likely to leave the position. Thus, having the freedom to choose one's occupation is highly important. Nonetheless, it is understandable for parents to be worried about their children's future. Parents may direct their children to pursue a secure work, which is financially stable and physically and mentally nonhazardous. For this reason, some parents may against their children's occupational choices such as sexual jobs and construction works. While the freedom of choosing an occupation should be respected, it is reasonable for parents to confront their children if their career choices are associated with risks. In conclusion, although some parents may wish to guide their children to pursue a certain occupation which gives a financial stability and does not involve risks, young people should be able to decide their own careers without restrictions from their parents as no one can be responsible of their lives, and it will increase the sense of independence and responsibility among children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
freely
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pursue a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as it will hinder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
possibility in the future and no ones can take responsibility of one's life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
yourself.
However
, it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
future, wishing for the best for their offspring.

Children should be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they have the right to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Pursuing a desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study harder and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a sense of independence and responsibility. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their professions by themselves, they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
easily
, and they will gain more satisfaction from work.
On the other hand
, if they had
been forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
an uninterested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it would be stressful to continue the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the position.
Thus
, having the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Nonetheless, it is understandable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
be worried
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
may direct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pursue a secure work, which is
financially
stable and
physically
and mentally nonhazardous.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
occupational choices such as sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and construction works. While the freedom of choosing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
should
be respected
, it is reasonable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to confront their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
choices
are associated
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may wish to guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pursue a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a financial stability and does not involve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be able to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
without restrictions from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as no one can be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and it will increase the sense of independence and responsibility among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay These days, many people are interested in buying organic food even though it is oftenmore expensive than conventionally produced food. What are some reasons that people prefer organic food? Do you think it is importantto buy organic food despite the higher v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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