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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? Give a reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.2

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Give a reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2
Sometimes, getting married can be a difficult issue. Choosing the best age for having a wedding can be a heated debate as it concerns both individuals and society. There is this quote that cheers up adults to get married before they are 30 as it would be good for them as well as the community. This essay will discuss on this specific topic and adds examples to support the idea rather it is based on personal experience or it is a quote. The act of marriage is a combination of many logical factors that come together and it depends on that person's situation to decide whether he is ready or not. To elaborate, financial conditions, personal behaviour, caring and mental maturity are some of the basic factors that effects on the final decision. In order to have a stable life with minor ups and downs, both sides need to have a logical understanding from each other. I remember my father used to tell me that love is a must in a perfect relationship even though it's not enough. So if an individual has been successful with all these factors and have found a perfect match and he is also below 30, it would be an ideal spousal. But if not, age itself, cannot be a good reason to involve a serious relation. As an example, one of my high school colleagues engaged when he was just a freshman in university. He was wealthy and they both adored each other, but they did not know each other in depth so after a while, they began to face serious problems and finally, they got divorced one year after. As a matter of fact, I really felt sorry for him that he couldn't carry on with his marriage. Therefor, As it might not sound that complex, relationships can be out of control in a blink. There is this thought among people that getting wedded before thirties can be advantageous. this essay argued on this topic and gave some factors and examples to explain it truthfully. To conclude, In believe, accomplishing some of several factors I named above can be really helpful to obtain a happy life as well as being beneficial for the community.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, getting married can be a difficult issue. Choosing the best age for having a wedding can be a heated debate as it concerns both individuals and society. There is this quote that cheers up adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are 30 as it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them
as well
as the community. This essay will discuss on this specific topic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
examples to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
rather
it
is based
on personal experience or it is a quote.

The act of marriage is a combination of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and it depends on that person's situation to decide whether he is ready or not. To elaborate, financial conditions, personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, caring and mental maturity are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that effects on the final decision. In order to have a stable life with minor ups and downs, both sides need to have a logical understanding from each other. I remember my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in a perfect relationship
even though
it's not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if an individual has been successful with all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
and have found a perfect
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
match and
he is
also
below 30, it would be an ideal spousal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if not, age itself, cannot be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to involve a serious relation. As an example, one of my high school colleagues engaged when he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a freshman in university. He was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wealthy and
they both adored each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they did not know each other in depth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after a while, they began to face serious problems and
finally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
divorced one year after. As a matter of fact, I
really
felt sorry for him that he couldn't carry on with his marriage. Therefor, As it might not sound that complex, relationships can be out of control in a blink.

There is this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that getting wedded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thirties can be advantageous.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay argued on this topic and gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
and examples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it
truthfully
.
To conclude
, In believe, accomplishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
I named above can be
really
helpful to obtain a happy life
as well
as being beneficial for the community.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Give a reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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