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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. v.1

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. v. 1
In the past, people used to get married at a younger age, usually after turning 20. In the modern society, individuals reduced the priority of getting married as their demands from life increased. However, I personally believe that getting married before the thirties is beneficial for people as well as the society. In this essay, we will analyse how this can enable people to plan their future and help reduce responsibilities of the government. To begin with, if folks start favouring marriage before the thirties, they can get enough time to understand each other before starting their own family. This will not only help them to develop trust in each other but also helps them to get familiar with partner's dreams. In other words, they can easily work together towards building their upcoming life. Thus, it is apparent that this marriage will provide them ample of time for structuring their future in a positive way. Besides this, couples wedded before these years have higher chances of giving birth to a baby at a younger age. Owing to this, the health of the child as well as parents is benefited. As a result, it is less likely for them to suffer from ailments at an earlier stage and thereby, increases the life expectancy of human beings. From this, it is clear that government might need to spend minimum resources on health benefits of society and can concentrate largely on the economic growth of the country. After analysing the areas of personal and social benefits, it is clear that such couples can expect healthy family life and thus the country can expect the growth. It has now been shown that individuals should be motivated for getting married before thirty. It is thus expected that government will educate the nation about the benefits of engaging themselves in a relationship at the proper age.
In the past,
people
used
to
get
married at a younger age,
usually
after turning 20. In the modern society, individuals
reduced
the priority of getting married as their demands from
life
increased.
However
, I
personally
believe that getting married
before
the thirties is beneficial for
people
as well
as the society. In this essay, we will
analyse
how this can enable
people
to plan their future and
help
reduce
responsibilities of the
government
.

To
begin
with, if folks
start
favouring
marriage
before
the thirties, they can
get
enough
time to understand each other
before
starting their
own
family. This will not
only
help
them to develop trust in each other
but
also
helps
them to
get
familiar with partner's dreams.
In other words
, they can
easily
work together towards building their upcoming
life
.
Thus
, it is apparent that this marriage will provide them ample of time for structuring their future in a
positive
way.

Besides
this, couples wedded
before
these years have higher chances of giving birth to a baby at a younger age. Owing to this, the health of the child
as well
as parents
is benefited
.
As a result
, it is less likely for them to suffer from ailments at an earlier stage and thereby, increases the
life
expectancy of human beings. From this, it is
clear
that
government
might need to spend minimum resources on health benefits of society and can concentrate
largely
on the economic growth of the country.

After
analysing
the areas of personal and social benefits, it is
clear
that such couples can
expect
healthy family
life
and
thus
the country can
expect
the growth. It has
now
been shown
that individuals should
be motivated
for getting married
before
thirty. It is
thus
expected
that
government
will educate the nation about the benefits of engaging themselves in a relationship at the proper age.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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