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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both of the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both of the individual and for society. v. 1
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that getting married before the age of 30 is important, while others differ with this. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to agree with those who think this approach is acceptable. In this essay, I will put forward my opinion along with relevant examples. For those who think that marrying after the age of 30 is appropriate for financial stability. Firstly, Although, this is a vital influencing factor, But it can lead to many other issues as well. One of the major issues is health. After crossing a certain age, the human body does not support any extreme physical issues, especially in case of conceiving a child. According to the latest research, pregnancy after 30 has proven to be less successful, which usually leads to critical issues for the mother’s health. If the couples married and conceived a child a little earlier, they would not have faced any such issues. Secondly, As we live in a society, It is hard to find a good match if a particular age is passed in arrange marriage, which is pretty common these days. For example, It is quite common to see a lot of rejections due to the age factor, even for a person having a decent financial status. If they planned the career path and other factors efficiently before, they would not have faced these issues. To sum up, It is very important for us to understand that besides financial status and career, A suitable partner is also necessary to live a healthy life. Hence, I strongly believe that marriage before thirties should be encouraged.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, while others differ with this. After pondering over this phenomenon, I deem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this approach is acceptable. In this essay, I will put forward my opinion along with relevant examples.

For those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that marrying after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30 is appropriate for financial stability.
Firstly
, Although, this is a vital influencing factor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as well
. One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is health. After crossing a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, the human body does not support any extreme physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
especially
in case of conceiving a child. According to the latest research, pregnancy after 30 has proven to be less successful, which
usually
leads to critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
for the mother’s health. If the couples married and conceived a child a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
earlier, they would not have faced any such issues.

Secondly
, As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
match if a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is passed
in arrange marriage, which is pretty common these days.
For example
, It is quite common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rejections due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
factor, even for a person having a decent financial status. If they planned the career path and other factors
efficiently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, they would not have faced these issues.

To sum up, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to understand that
besides
financial status and career, A suitable partner is
also
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life.
Hence
, I
strongly
believe that marriage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thirties should
be encouraged
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both of the individual and for society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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