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it is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

it is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. v. 6
While in the past people got married young, usually before 30 and even before 20, nowadays it is becoming increasingly less frequent. Therefore, the question is: why is this happening? Firstly, I have noticed that in prior centuries, women were nurtured to be housewives and thus, marrying as soon as possible to serve their husbands and their children. Moreover, the life expectancy was lower than it is at the present period, hence the growth ought to have happened earlier and faster. By reason of that background exposed above, individuals who belong to previous generation still believe that marriage must arise sooner and then they influence the young to have the same opinion, mainly the women. Although, a key point is, in my view, that women played an important role in this change, that is, marrying after 30 more often now than in the past because a successful professional life has turned into as essential as a “perfect” personal life. In addition, as the medical technologies are advancing, women who desire to get pregnant can realize it even in the middle of forties. This is significant in virtue of couples or singles should not be hurried into getting married or finding someone to marry to build a family straight away. In conclusion, owing to the facts discussed, it need not spur people to be married early. Besides, marriage brings with it considerable responsibilities, so “which age should we marry? ” Must be responded by the couple whom really knows whether they are already or not.
While in the past
people
got
married young,
usually
before
30 and even
before
20, nowadays it is becoming
increasingly
less frequent.
Therefore
, the question is: why is this happening?

Firstly
, I have noticed that in prior centuries, women
were nurtured
to be housewives and
thus
, marrying as
soon
as possible to serve their husbands and their children.
Moreover
, the life expectancy was lower than it is at the present period,
hence
the growth ought to have happened earlier and faster.

By reason of that background exposed above, individuals who belong to previous generation
still
believe that marriage
must
arise
sooner and
then they influence the young to have the same opinion,
mainly
the women.

Although, a key point is, in my view, that women played an
important
role in this
change
,
that is
, marrying after 30 more
often
now
than in the past
because
a successful professional life has turned into as essential as a “perfect” personal life.
In addition
, as the medical technologies are advancing, women who desire to
get
pregnant can realize it even in the middle of forties. This is significant in virtue of couples or singles should not
be hurried
into getting married or finding someone to marry to build a family straight away.

In conclusion
, owing to the facts discussed, it need not spur
people
to
be married
early.
Besides
, marriage brings with it considerable responsibilities,
so
“which age should we marry? ”
Must
be responded
by the couple whom
really
knows whether they are already or not.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay it is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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