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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 13
It is a fact that our food greatly affects our health. This is the reason, some people believe that their should be a tax applied on junk food by the governments. This essay will discuss why I strongly agree with this stance because it is accumulating in our population and also affecting the health of our school going children. Eating fast food and processed food is extremely unhealthy for people of every age. They contain high amounts of unsaturated fats, calories and salts which in turn cause serious problems; the most common ones are cardiac arrest, stroke, hypertension, diabetes and obesity. The reason behind this Western influenced and sedentary lifestyle is that, fast food restaurants and companies providing frozen TV Dinners spend a bulk of their profit on advertising their food, which ultimately persuade people to buy them. For example, we can see that KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut are always over crowded whenever we visit, furthermore, eating sausages, chilled or canned food like mushrooms and fish is now more trending in most families, beacause they are ready to use. The only solution to this problem is that governments should induce taxes on manufacturers, sales tax could be raised in order to limit their sale with result that customers could be stopped. Another danger is for the children and adolescents who are provided with unhealthy food in their school cafeterias. It is observed that children of the age of 6-12 and then youngersters are seen to be fond of burgers and pizzas, but the problem is that obesity rate is also rapidly increasing in this age group. We can say that obesity has now became epidemic which is spreading fastly in various continents especially in Europe, America and after that Asia. In 1975 according to estimates, for instance in Pakistan, there were only 10% obese kids in schools but now this amount has expanded to 40%. The research also revealed that there are millions of kids falling every year into health hazards due to their bad eating habbits. To conclude, our body is regulated by what we eat, unhealthy and fat rich diet depleted our health. To solve this dilemma, governments should impose duty on fast food, processed and frozen meals. I believe it would be a positive step if it is taken by the authorities to alter our lifestyle and keeping our youth safe and healthy.
It is a fact that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
greatly
affects our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is the reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
Did you mean "there"?
their
should be a tax applied on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. This essay will discuss why I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this stance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is accumulating in our population and
also
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of our school going children.

Eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
extremely
unhealthy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of every age. They contain high amounts of unsaturated fats, calories and salts which in turn cause serious problems; the most common ones are cardiac arrest, stroke, hypertension, diabetes and obesity. The reason behind this Western influenced and sedentary lifestyle is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
providing frozen TV Dinners spend a bulk of their profit on advertising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which
ultimately
persuade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut are always over crowded whenever we visit,
furthermore
, eating sausages, chilled or canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like mushrooms and fish is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more trending in most families,
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacause
they are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to this problem is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should induce taxes on manufacturers, sales tax could
be raised
in order to limit their sale with result that customers could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is for the children and adolescents who
are provided
with unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their school cafeterias. It
is observed
that children of the age of 6-12 and then
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngersters
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be fond of burgers and pizzas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the problem is that obesity rate is
also
rapidly
increasing in this age group. We can say that obesity has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Use the past participle "become" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'has'.
became
epidemic which is spreading
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
in various continents
especially
in Europe, America and after that Asia. In 1975 according to estimates,
for instance
in Pakistan, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% obese kids in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this amount has expanded to 40%. The research
also
revealed that there are millions of kids falling every year into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eating
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
.

To conclude
, our body
is regulated
by what we eat, unhealthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
rich diet depleted our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To solve this dilemma,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose duty on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, processed and frozen meals. I believe it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step if it
is taken
by the authorities to alter our lifestyle and keeping our youth safe and healthy.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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