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Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v.5

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 5
Today, tourists spots in every country have become the source of income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will discuss the main advantages and disadvantages of tourism development in countries and provide a logical conclusion. On the one hand, the two main advantages of the developed tourism industry are a boost in the country’s economy and a large number of new workplaces for local people. Firstly, tourist mostly spends a lot of money on a wide range of services, including hotels, restaurants, amusements and transportation. In that way, tourism yields an income that has a great impact on supporting the country economy. For example countries like Turkey and UAE have a high income from tourism, that makes them one of the richest countries around the world. Secondly, tourism helps to decrease the level of unemployment by bringing new workplaces. Tourism demands in restaurant workers, hotel staff, and tour guides. That is why business owners hire more workers for this position. On the other hand, a large number of tourists can cause destruction of popular tourist destinations and development of illegal economic activities. Ancient and historical places are very fragile and these places struggle to cope with a vast amount of visitor’s traffic. This situation can end up with the destruction of a priceless and sacred place. In addition, tourist can create a situations where criminal issues are involved. A large number of tourists accompanies with the spend of a lot of money and carrying valuables such as cameras and jewellery. This increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities like robbery. However, it can be eliminated by the management of a security in public places. To conclude, tourism development has an extremely positive impact on the country’s economy and unemployment level, but it followed by destructive impact and growth of the crime rate. However, the great management of the tourism revenue by the government can solve these drawbacks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
spots in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have become the source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will discuss the main advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and provide a logical conclusion.

On the one hand, the two main advantages of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry are a boost in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
new workplaces for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
mostly
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on a wide range of services, including hotels, restaurants, amusements and transportation. In that way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
yields an income that has a great impact on supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Turkey and UAE have a high income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them one of the richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to decrease the level of unemployment by bringing new workplaces.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
demands in restaurant workers, hotel staff, and tour guides.
That is
why business owners hire more workers for this position.

On the other hand
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can cause destruction of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations and development of illegal economic activities. Ancient and historical places are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fragile and these places struggle to cope with a vast amount of visitor’s traffic. This situation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with the destruction of a priceless and sacred place.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
can create
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a situation" or simply "situations"?
a situations
where criminal issues
are involved
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanies by".
accompanies with
the spend of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and carrying valuables such as cameras and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
. This increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities like robbery.
However
, it can
be eliminated
by the management of a security in public places.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
development has an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and unemployment level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it followed by destructive impact and growth of the crime rate.
However
, the great management of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
revenue by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can solve these drawbacks.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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