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It is sometimes said that people should be encourage to get married before they are 30, as this is besth both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is sometimes said that people should be encourage to get married before they are 30, as this is besth both for the individual and for society. v. 1
Some people said that other people sometimes should be encouraged to get married before turning 30 years old and said it will be best for both men and women and also for our society. With regards to this, in my opinion, I both agree and disagree. First, I agree it is because before turning 30 years old will be the best time to have a family and get married. On the other hand, I do disagree also, because some people are not capable to build a family on that age. In my point of view, yes I agree that men and women will get married before turning 30 years old, because on that age some people will be able to sustain the needs of their future family. Luckily, if you lived a life with a good or having a financial stability, and also if you get your Bachelor' s degree at the right time and had a stable job you can survive, get married and have a happy family. Your life and your family will not be miserable. In addition, you can also help the society not to experience being poor. However, I do disagree also. As I said earlier some people will be able to sustain the needs of their future family but unfortunately, what if you are part of our society that was not able to go to school at the right age and at the right time, you might get your degree after turning 30 years old. In this kind of situation, even though you get your degree late and you were able to sustain the wants and needs of your future family, you can still get married even after 40 or 50 years old. Also on that age you can still help the society by working so hard to survive everydays life. In conclusion, it does not matter whether to get married before or after at the age of 30, also for me age is just a number so you can still build a happy family in the future. All you have to do is just prepare and work hard as long as you can, so that, you will meet the needs of your family and also your family' s life will not be miserable. At the same time you will not be part of the unfurtunate people and you will be able to help our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turning
30 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and said it will be best for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women and
also
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
this, in my opinion, I both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and disagree.
First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turning
30 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
will be the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
On the other hand
, I do disagree
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not capable to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on that age.

In my point of view, yes I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turning
30 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to sustain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Luckily, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a life with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or having a financial stability, and
also
if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bachelor&
#039; s degree at the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and had a stable job you can survive,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and have a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Your life and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will not be miserable.
In addition
, you can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
not to experience being poor.

However
, I do disagree
also
. As I said earlier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to sustain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, what if you are part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to go to school at the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and at the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, you might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your degree after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turning
30 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. In this kind of situation,
even though
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your degree late and you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to sustain the wants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, you can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married even after 40 or 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
you can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive
Possible spelling mistake found.
everydays
life.

In conclusion
, it does not matter whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
or after at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30,
also
for me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a number
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can
still
build a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. All you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
prepare and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as long as you can,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
also
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s life will not be miserable. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you will not be part of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfurtunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and you will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encourage to get married before they are 30, as this is besth both for the individual and for society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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