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It is sometimes argued that prison is the best place for criminals, while others think that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v.1

It is sometimes argued that prison is the best place for criminals, while others think that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 1
Many people hold the belief that prison is the best place for keeping criminals, others, however, subscribe to the view that there are more efficient solutions to handle them. While both arguments are justified to some extent, I lay my thoughts alongside the alternative ways. On the one hand, I hold the belief that it is appropriate to put criminals behind bars. This is due to the view that prison can act as a deterrent towards the offenders for fear of retribution. For instance, prisoners undergo punishment and harsh labour will learn to avoid crimes or violence if ever released from prison, especially those who serve a long sentence of up to years or even decades. Moreover, as inmates are locked up in jail under strict supervision, their unlawful acts will be restricted which ensures the security of the citizen. On the other hand, apart from imprisonment, I content that two alternatives including vocational training and education can guarantee a significant outcome in the long-run. Firstly, vocational training such as construction or bus driving programs can tackle the problem of income for many lawbreakers who turn to crime for a living. Thereby, such courses can help the criminals fit in with the society and further becoming a law-abiding citizen. Additionally, in terms of education, rehabilitation programs can help the offenders acknowledge their wrongdoings and their negative impacts on the society, hence develop better behaviors and attitudes. Under such training, the criminals will be given the chance to turn over a new leaf and reform their lives In conclusion, while applying imprisonment to criminal is undoubtedly an effective punishment, in my view, other measures such as providing a proper jobs and education can have a more significant effects eventually.
Many
people
hold the belief that prison is the best place for keeping
criminals
, others,
however
, subscribe to the view that there are more efficient solutions to handle them. While both arguments
are justified
to
some
extent, I lay my thoughts alongside the alternative ways.

On the one hand, I hold the belief that it is appropriate to put
criminals
behind bars. This is due to the view that prison can act as a deterrent towards the offenders for fear of retribution.
For instance
, prisoners undergo punishment and harsh
labour
will learn to avoid crimes or violence if ever released from prison,
especially
those who serve a long sentence of up to years or even decades.
Moreover
, as inmates
are locked
up in jail under strict supervision, their unlawful acts will
be restricted
which ensures the security of the citizen.

On the other hand
, apart from imprisonment, I content that two alternatives including vocational training and education can guarantee a significant outcome in the long-run.
Firstly
, vocational training such as construction or bus driving programs can tackle the problem of income for
many
lawbreakers who turn to crime for a living. Thereby, such courses can
help
the
criminals
fit in with the society and
further
becoming a law-abiding citizen.
Additionally
, in terms of education, rehabilitation programs can
help
the offenders acknowledge their wrongdoings and their
negative
impacts on the society,
hence
develop better behaviors and attitudes. Under such training, the
criminals
will be
given
the chance to turn over a new leaf and reform their
lives


In conclusion
, while applying imprisonment to
criminal
is
undoubtedly
an effective punishment, in my view, other measures such as providing a proper jobs and education can have a more significant effects
eventually
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes argued that prison is the best place for criminals, while others think that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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