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While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v.1

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 1
There is no doubt that to save the general public from offenders is to keep them in prison. However, some people agree and others argue that approach some other ways. In my opinion, lockup is specifically designed for criminals. To begin with, some people agree to keep the criminals in prison because there they will be kept under the authority of the police department. In this way, there will be no chance to run away. Moreover, some gangsters are highly professionals. For instance, the robber, they are extensively expert to their occupation and have weapons too. They can do robbery of any house, banks and other places. They can also harm the individual life if they fail to prescribed plan. Therefore, to keep the criminals in jail is public safety. On the other hand, some people argue that other ways are better to deal with them. For example, if lawbreakers are kept in the locked room of a house in the middle of the city where the general public live. This means we are giving them a chance to run away and do start their work again and harm individual life. Because they have weapons. Everyone loves their life and family. Therefore, a good decision is a lockup for all the offenders. To conclude, criminals are the masterminds and the General Public is innocent. In order to save the lives of civilization keep the gangsters in the prison under the authority of police where even they cannot think of any crime.
There is no doubt that to save the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
from offenders is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them in prison.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
argue that approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways. In my opinion, lockup is
specifically
designed for criminals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the criminals in prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
under the authority of the police department. In this way, there will be no chance to run away.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gangsters are
highly
professionals.
For instance
, the robber, they are
extensively
expert to their occupation and have weapons too. They can do robbery of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, banks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places. They can
also
harm the individual life if they fail to prescribed plan.
Therefore
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the criminals in jail is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
safety.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways are better to deal with them.
For example
, if lawbreakers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the locked room of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the middle of the city where the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This means we are giving them a chance to run away and do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their work again and harm individual life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have weapons. Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
their life and family.
Therefore
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision is a lockup for all the offenders.

To conclude
, criminals are the masterminds and the General
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
is innocent. In order to save
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lives
of civilization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the gangsters in the prison under the authority of police where even they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of any crime.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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