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It is sometimes argued that prison is the best place for criminals, while others think that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v.3

Some people believe that prisons are the best place for keeping criminals, while others contradict this idea and insist that there are more efficient ways to reform them. In my opinion, criminals who are a potential threat to the society must be locked up whereas those with the desire to transform themselves must be allowed a chance to get involved in reformatory work. Serious offenders who have been convicted of heinous crimes undoubtedly possess the ability to harm the society so they must be confined within a jail. The criminal intentions and motivations they have cannot be detected or discouraged using peaceful means. That means there is always the possibility that they will reoffend and wreak havoc in the society if they are allowed to move out of prison. Even if they are deterred / prevented from committing crime outside prisons, they can influence young and needy minds to follow their footsteps and thus augment the crime rate. Thus, no fruitful result can be generated in the process. However, juvenile offenders and other criminals who have been jailed for comparatively minor offences must be allowed a second chance to redesign their lives. They must be granted an opportunity to correct them and be absorbed into the society. Firstly, arrangements should be made so that juvenile offenders receive vocational training and moral education which will teach them to distinguish noble from evil, and become law-abiding citizens. Secondly, adults must be involved in vocational trainings and skill development sessions that will enable them to find a means of livelihood and stay immune to criminal tendencies. In conclusion, it is not realistic to make and follow general rules for all criminals. Before determining whether a criminal should be sent to prison or not, it is important to consider the gravity of the crime committed by them. While a criminal with a dangerous record is a threat to peace and must be in a prison, the others who committed relatively milder crimes can be given an opportunity for reforming themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are the best place for keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, while others contradict this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and insist that there are more efficient ways to reform them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are a potential threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be locked
up whereas those with the desire to transform themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in reformatory work.

Serious offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been convicted
of heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
undoubtedly
possess the ability to harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be confined
within a jail. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intentions and motivations they have cannot
be detected
or discouraged using peaceful means. That means there is always the possibility that they will
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
and wreak havoc in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of prison.

Even if they
are deterred
/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, they can influence young and needy minds to follow their footsteps and
thus
augment the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
Thus
, no fruitful result can
be generated
in the process.

However
, juvenile offenders and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been jailed
for
comparatively
minor
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offences’ is British English.
offences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
a second chance to redesign their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be granted
an opportunity to correct them and
be absorbed
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, arrangements should
be made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that juvenile offenders receive vocational training and moral education which will teach them to distinguish noble from evil, and become law-abiding citizens.
Secondly
, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be involved
in vocational trainings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development sessions that will enable them to find a means of livelihood and stay immune to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
tendencies.

In conclusion
, it is not realistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and follow general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
determining whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
or not, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the gravity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed by them. While a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
record is a threat to peace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed
relatively
milder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity for reforming themselves.
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A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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