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It is absolutely true fact that people cannot but imagine their lives without music. It totally interferes in each sphere of human life. What are the most popular music styles today? Discuss this point of view and give your personal opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.1

It is absolutely true fact that people cannot but imagine their lives without music. It totally interferes in each sphere of human life. What are the most popular music styles today? Discuss this point of view and give your personal opinion. v. 1
In the world today, people are mesmerized by the liberty that music gives to the soul. It would however have been a great error if music never existed, as that is what some individuals may need for motivation and inspiration to help them forge ahead in their life careers. There are many music styles, types and genres in our present days, spanning from singing of blues to rock, hip hop, jazz and classical music and to instrument playing. Various music artistes have produced high-spirited music, which has at countless times uplifted people from depression and sometimes, given them a sense of direction. Artistes and instrumentalists are known from around the globe and not just particular to just a few countries. A late world-know musician, Michael Jackson was known to be the "king of pop" due to the kind of music he sang. A late Nigeria artiste, who sang jazz; was Fela Kuti. One of his songs was titled “Zombie”, which was aimed at mocking soldiers. For decades, it has been shown across the globe that music is a soul healer. In my own opinion, this is actually a true and world-known fact which presents itself on a daily basis. I knew about a scenario in which a little boy fell very ill and looked like he was never going to recover, as his health deteriorated daily. His sister however came to the intensive care unit to see him and sang for him, despite warming from him her parents that it may not yield any positive result. To their greatest amazement, after the song, the little boy’s health suddenly improved and he was discharged the following day. It was an exciting day for their family. In conclusion, music is the spice of life, so, it is important for it to be embraced and cherished by all. People are also encouraged to sing musical albums, if they have the talents and play instruments as well. It will make the world a better place.
In the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are mesmerized
by the liberty that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
gives to the soul. It would
however
have been a great error if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
never existed, as
that is
what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals may need for motivation and inspiration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them forge ahead in their life careers.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
styles, types and genres in our present days, spanning from singing of blues to rock, hip hop, jazz and classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and to instrument playing. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artistes have produced high-spirited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, which has at countless times uplifted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them a sense of direction. Artistes and instrumentalists
are known
from around the globe and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
particular to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few countries. A late world-know musician, Michael Jackson
was known
to be the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
king of pop
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
due to the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
he sang. A late Nigeria artiste, who sang jazz; was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fela
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kuti
. One of his songs
was titled
“Zombie”, which
was aimed
at mocking soldiers.

For decades, it has
been shown
across the globe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a soul healer. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, this is actually a true and world-known fact which presents itself on a daily basis. I knew about a scenario in which a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boy fell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ill and looked like he was never going to recover, as his health deteriorated daily. His sister
however
came to the intensive care unit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him and sang for him, despite warming from him her parents that it may not yield any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result. To their greatest amazement, after the song, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boy’s health
suddenly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
improved and
he
was discharged
the following day. It was an exciting day for their family.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the spice of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for it to
be embraced
and cherished by all.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
also
encouraged to sing musical albums, if they have the talents and play instruments
as well
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is absolutely true fact that people cannot but imagine their lives without music. It totally interferes in each sphere of human life. What are the most popular music styles today? Discuss this point of view and give your personal opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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