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Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 2
Some argue that when parents are at work, close relations provide the best care to young children, while others believe day care centres offer a better service. It is agreed that while some relatives take care of youngsters extremely well, childcare professionals offer a better overall service. This essay will first discuss the merits of family members looking after ‘pre-schoolers’, secondly, an analysis of childcare centres’ services, followed by a reasoned conclusion. Many parents in full-time employment prefer to leave their young ones with grandparents and siblings when they are at work. This is often a trust issue, as the parents feel their child will be safer with someone from within the family nucleus. For example, a recent study showed that 62% of working mothers prefer a member of the immediate family to provide care when they are working. However, most kin are not trained childcare professionals and may not have the skills required to fully nurture a child. Daycare centres may be a better option due to the fact that most of their staff are highly skilled professionals. Many of their staff are highly trained and have diplomas in child development. For instance, if you want a job in a Montessori school, they will insist that you are fully qualified, with many of their staff having degrees in early years development. In spite of this, there have been recent high-profile cases of abuse within these establishments which makes some parents wary. In summary, although there are some issues involving trust, as long as parents vet each school properly, the high level of service provided by daycare professionals trumps that of unqualified family members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are at work, close relations provide the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to young children, while others believe day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
offer a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relatives take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of youngsters
extremely
well, childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
offer a better
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. This essay will
first
discuss the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members looking after ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schoolers
’,
secondly
, an analysis of childcare
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in full-time employment prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their young ones with grandparents and siblings when they are at work. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a trust issue, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel their child will be safer with someone from within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
nucleus.
For example
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 62% of working mothers prefer a member of the immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
when they are working.
However
, most kin are not trained childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
and may not have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to
fully
nurture a child.

Daycare
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
may be a better option due to the fact that most of their staff are
highly
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of their staff are
highly
trained and have diplomas in child development.
For instance
, if you want a job in a Montessori school, they will insist that you are
fully
qualified, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their staff having degrees in early
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, there have been recent high-profile cases of abuse within these establishments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
wary.

In summary, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues involving trust, as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
vet each school
properly
, the high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
provided by daycare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
trumps that of unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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