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In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is said that tourism has become a reliable source of money in some countries. It is further argued that it also has detrimental effects. I think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. I agree that in many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. For example; I visited Turkey in 2018. A company named Popular Travels, which is based in Turkey, arranged the trip for us. It cost more than 2000 Euros. We had enjoyed a lot, as Turkey is a beautiful place to visit as well, but everything was at the cost of money. Therefore, it shows that international tourism can strengthen the economy of a country. The only negative effect I can think of is that, if many people want to visit a certain beautiful place, then due to the heavy traffic in the region, the infra structure may not be able to cope up the increased rush thus leading to overcrowding, poor sanitation which may further lead to diseases both to the tourists as well as local people. For example; many tourists in Swat, Pakistan will enjoy the natural beauty, but if it gets overcrowded then it will be tough for people to find the required facilities. We had visited Swat few months ago, it was overcrowded. We could not even find a spot for parking, hence, we had to walk for 5 kilometers to a restaurant. In conclusion, the benefits of tourism outweigh the disadvantages for sure, but the negative effects are there as well which need to be taken care of with time.
It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a reliable source of money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. It is
further
argued that it
also
has detrimental effects. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of income.
For example
; I visited Turkey in 2018. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
named Popular Travels, which
is based
in Turkey, arranged the trip for us. It cost more than 2000 Euros. We had enjoyed a lot, as Turkey is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place to visit
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everything was at the cost of money.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can strengthen the economy of a country.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of is that, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to visit a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place, then due to the heavy traffic in the region, the infra structure may not be able to cope up the increased rush
thus
leading to overcrowding, poor sanitation which may
further
lead to diseases both to the tourists
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists in Swat, Pakistan will enjoy the natural beauty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
overcrowded then it will be tough for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find the required facilities. We had visited Swat few months ago, it
was overcrowded
. We could not even find a spot for parking,
hence
, we had to walk for 5 kilometers to a restaurant.

In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
outweigh the disadvantages for sure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects are there
as well
which need to
be taken
care of with time.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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