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It is said that countries should produce all food for their population to eat and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is said that countries should produce all food for their population to eat and import as little as possible. v. 2
People hold the view that the countries should carry the responsibility of producing and providing food for their residents, reducing the dependency on other countries. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this statement for the potential negative effects that may be induced by it. Providing all kinds of food for consumption for the whole population is simply impractical and deterrent to the country. First and foremost, some types of crops or animals are only raised in specific areas or countries. This will reduce food diversity, therefore the citizens would not be able to achieve a balanced and nutritious diet. In addition to this, adverse effects would arise on the economy when the agriculture sector becomes the focal point of governments for supplying sufficient food for the public, ignoring other economic sectors. In contrast to the concerns mentioned above, I believe that importing food from other countries would offer a myriad of benefits. Bringing in food from abroad play an important role in increasing food variety, in which residents are left with more choices and are more nourished, achieving better efficiency in work. Moreover, governments can also focus on doing more different things rather than trying to supply enough food for the whole population. Besides that, the importing and exporting also help to strengthen the relationship between countries, which is also critical for a country to grow. In conclusion, attempting to manufacture adequate food for the whole country is an inappropriate approach, which leaves behind negative effects on the economy. Whereas on the contradictory, food importation should be encouraged for the benefits that it offers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should carry the responsibility of producing and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their residents, reducing the dependency on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. From my perspective, I
totally
disagree with this statement for the potential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that may
be induced
by it.

Providing all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for consumption for the whole population is
simply
impractical and deterrent to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of crops or animals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
raised in specific areas or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diversity,
therefore
the citizens would not be able to achieve a balanced and nutritious diet.
In addition
to this, adverse effects would arise on the economy when the agriculture sector becomes the focal point of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
for supplying sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the public, ignoring other economic sectors.

In contrast
to the concerns mentioned above, I believe that importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would offer a myriad of benefits. Bringing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from abroad play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
variety, in which residents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with more choices and are more nourished, achieving better efficiency in work.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
also
focus on doing more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things
rather
than trying to supply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the whole population.
Besides
that, the importing and exporting
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to strengthen the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which is
also
critical for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to grow.

In conclusion
, attempting to manufacture adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is an inappropriate approach, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the economy. Whereas on the contradictory,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
importation should
be encouraged
for the benefits that it offers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is said that countries should produce all food for their population to eat and import as little as possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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