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It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. What are the problems you see in this situation? How does this affect the children and the family life? v.4

With the modernization of the society, it is not uncommon to see both the parents working. There are various reasons for it. Firstly, everybody wants to be financially independent. Secondly, with the increasing inflation and cost of living, it sometimes becomes necessary for both the partners to work. But there is no gainsaying in the fact that this impacts family life and children. When both the partners are working, it becomes difficult to spend time together and with the family, especially when the work timings are different. Children suffer the most in this situation. Mostly when children are merely one year old, they are sent to day care centre and are taken care by strangers. Childhood is a very crucial time in everybody's life. This is the time when children learn most, they pick up good or bad habits, develop emotional bonds with their parents. But when both the parents are working, children spends most of the time away from their parents and hence the emotional connect is not as strong as it should be. Even when all family members meet in the evening, both parents would be tired of all day work and could not spend quality time with each other. One major drawback of the both parents working is there is nobody to constantly keep an eye on children and to correct them instantly. For example; when I was growing up, my mother was always at home when I came back from school, and I would spend hours telling her what happened in school. She would feed me wholesome food and then help me with my homework. As I was growing up, she taught me, how to cook, do the dishes, and clean the house. Whenever I was late for home, I was answerable to her. Whenever I committed any mistake, she could catch it instantly and would correct me. Her constant support helped me, not only in achieving good grade but also to be a better human being; whereas my friends whose both parents were working, would come to an empty house, they would mostly survive on snacks after school. Their grades constantly suffered because they would watch TV or loiter around during study hours. They would often lie to their parents and would escape uncaught. Other problem that impacts the family life when both partners work is "ego". Since both are independent, ego often comes between both the partners; there would be a lot of argument. The increase in divorce rate is also due to this decrease in tolerance level. In nutshell, it is sometimes important for both the parents to work but this certainly has an impact on children and the family life. In this situation, it really becomes necessary to pay extra attention towards their children and try and spend as much time with family as possible.
With the modernization of the society, it is not uncommon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. There are various reasons for it.
Firstly
, everybody wants to be
financially
independent.
Secondly
, with the increasing inflation and cost of living, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
becomes necessary for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is no gainsaying in the fact that this impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and children.

When both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, it becomes difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
timings are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
suffer the most in this situation.
Mostly
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
merely
one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to day care
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
and
are taken
care by strangers. Childhood is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in everybody's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn most, they pick up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits, develop emotional bonds with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
hence
the emotional connect is not as strong as it should be. Even when all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in the evening, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
be tired
of all day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

One major drawback of the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is there is nobody to
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to correct them
instantly
.
For example
; when I was growing up, my mother was always at home when I came back from school, and I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
hours telling her what happened in school. She would feed me wholesome food and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me with my homework. As I was growing up, she taught me, how to cook, do the dishes, and clean the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Whenever I was late for home, I was answerable to her. Whenever I committed any mistake, she could catch it
instantly
and would correct me. Her constant support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in achieving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to be a better human being; whereas my friends
Did you mean “who’s”?
whose
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an empty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, they would
mostly
survive on snacks after school. Their grades
constantly
suffered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or loiter around during study hours. They would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lie to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and would escape uncaught.

Other problem that impacts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
ego
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
. Since both are independent, ego
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
between both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
; there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
argument. The increase in divorce rate is
also
due to this decrease in tolerance level.

In nutshell, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
certainly
has an impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this situation, it
really
becomes necessary to pay extra attention towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and try and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as possible.
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IELTS essay It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
473 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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