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It is often thought that government finance in the public sector instead of spending their budget on arts, music, and theatre. Although, I disagree on a larger extent with the given statement and my point is discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. v.1

It is often thought that government finance in the public sector instead of spending their budget on arts, music, and theatre. Although, I disagree on a larger extent with the given statement and my point is discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. v. 1
It is often thought that ministry finance in the public sector instead of spending their budget on arts, opera, and theatre. Although, I disagree on a larger extent with the given statement and my point is discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. Art, melody, and theatre play a vital role in every nation so, the administrator should spend cash on these amusement sectors. Moreover, individuals are influenced by their culture and maintain in the upcoming generation. If the ministry should invest funds in art, music, and theatre these sectors are huge benefits for our nation. Because they can help increase our boosting economy and tourism. Furthermore, Art, music, and theatre are providing great job opportunities hence, this sector is motivational and many skilled workers can earn a livelihood. Besides, many commodities are passion able for their culture and heritage. Therefore, people are moving towards to maintain a culture and get a great job seeking for this recreational field. Like as, music singer, artist, and actor. Besides, if our nation’s culture keeps going that’s they aid to attract tourism activity and boosting our economy. To illustrate, In Gujarat states, Kutch is an attractive place in holiday making and there are 2 million tourists are visited per annum. The reasons are that this place is known about their civilization, traditions and Palaeolithic. On the contrary, other public services are also important in our society, so that’s why the power should spend payment on human necessities. Such as emergency services, ambulance, fire station. Moreover, the regime should vast wealth to invest in the amusement sector, but they cannot get much profit or taxes. Also, arts, music, and theatre are more require time for maintenance. So, that’s reasons the authority should spend wage on public services rather than recreational sectors To conclude, in evidently the nation art, music and theatre should be more developed to plummet unemployment allocating more job opportunities all around the world. However, it also helps in our nations to increase the economy, tourism as well as maintain our culture for a long period.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that ministry finance in the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
instead
of spending their budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, opera, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. Although, I disagree on a larger extent with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and my point
is discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Art, melody, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
play a vital role in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the administrator should spend cash on these amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
Moreover
, individuals
are influenced
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and maintain in the upcoming generation. If the ministry should invest funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are huge benefits for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase our boosting economy and tourism.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
are providing great job opportunities
hence
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is motivational and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled workers can earn a livelihood.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commodities are passion able for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and heritage.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving towards to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a great job seeking for this recreational field. Like as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
singer, artist, and actor.
Besides
, if our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
going that’s they aid to attract tourism activity and boosting our economy. To illustrate, In Gujarat states,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kutch
is an attractive place in holiday making and there are 2 million tourists
are visited
per annum. The reasons are that this place
is known
about their civilization, traditions and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Palaeolithic
.

On the contrary
, other public services are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that’s why the power should spend payment on human necessities. Such as emergency services, ambulance, fire station.
Moreover
, the regime should vast wealth to invest in the amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much profit or taxes.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
are more require time for maintenance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that’s reasons the authority should spend wage on public services
rather
than recreational sectors

To conclude
, in
evidently
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
should be more developed to plummet unemployment allocating more job opportunities all around the world.
However
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to increase the economy, tourism
as well
as maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
for a long period.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often thought that government finance in the public sector instead of spending their budget on arts, music, and theatre. Although, I disagree on a larger extent with the given statement and my point is discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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