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The government’s investments in arts, music and theatre are a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

The government’s investments in arts, music and theatre are a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 2
The state of public services has deteriorated in recent times in many parts of the world. This leads to a general belief that government should invest more in satisfying necessities of people instead of spending money on arts, music and theatre. This essay will argue why governments should continue to invest in arts, music and theatre though investments in public welfare is important. Maintaining and growing public infrastructure is very important for development of people and in turn development of every nation. Governments should make sure that necessities of the population are satisfied by not only maintaining but also growing the existing infrastructure. In many countries, especially the developing nations governments have failed to keep up the state of public services. With growing population the situation has even worsened where public infrastructure is just not enough to even meet the basic needs of the citizens. For example, in few of the cities in India the state basic necessities like public transport, water etc. has reached alarming levels and there’s growing dissatisfaction among the people against the governments. This leads people to believe that government is not making enough investments and is not giving enough importance towards improvement of public services. Though people are right in expecting that governments should focus more on improving public services, it’s completely inappropriate to suggest that development of public infrastructure should be done at the cost of maintaining and growing cultural heritage like arts, music and theatre. All of these are not just modes of entertainment but they also preserve cultural values. Since last few years, they are also looked upon as career opportunities as this sector has started generating jobs. For example, in a developing country like India where job creation is a challenge, entertainment industry has proved to be one of the major contributors to the nations GDP. As a result, government should not only continue to invest in arts, music and theatre but also look at avenues to grow this sector. It is completely inappropriate to suggest that investments from this sector should be diverted to the growth of public services. Instead people should hold elected representatives of the government responsible for the state of public services and look at options to make them answerable. This essay argued that it will be completely wrong to overlook investments in arts, music and theatre to develop public services. In my opinion, governments should balance developments of all the sectors including public services by ensuring proper allocation of funds and focussed goal based development of every sector including public services.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
has deteriorated in recent times in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. This leads to a general belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest more in satisfying necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. This essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should continue to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
welfare is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Maintaining and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of every nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that necessities of the population
are satisfied
by not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
the developing nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
population the situation has even worsened where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic needs of the citizens.
For example
, in few of the cities in India the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, water etc. has reached alarming levels and there’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
dissatisfaction among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
and is not giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
importance towards improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are right in expecting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should focus more on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, it’s completely inappropriate to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
should
be done
at the cost of maintaining and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growing
cultural heritage like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. All of these are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
modes of entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
preserve cultural values. Since last few years, they are
also
looked upon as career opportunities as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
generating jobs.
For example
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
like India where job creation is a challenge, entertainment industry has proved to be one of the major contributors to the nations GDP.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
continue to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
look at avenues to grow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. It is completely inappropriate to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
should
be diverted
to the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should hold elected representatives of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and look at options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them answerable.

This essay argued that it will be completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to overlook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by ensuring proper allocation of funds and focussed goal based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
80Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The government’s investments in arts, music and theatre are a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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