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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is waste money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with his statement? v.1

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is waste money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. with his statement? v. 1
According to many people, investing money on art projects such as music and art facilities are meaningless. Instead, the government should be investing the money on community programs to meet public requirements such as in education or health sectors. I personally disagree with this statement to some extent. This essay will emphasize the reason why both are crucial to our society. The majority of national income comes from taxes, therefore it should be spent for the community purpose. Since education, health, and labour programs are a public basic need, the large sum of national income should invest in these sectors. For instance, providing qualified teacher, funding on national health insurance, developing new health infrastructures such as hospital and health care centre, and providing a job opportunity. As a result, if the public primary need fulfilled, it would lead to the country welfare. Despite the facts that state above, it is admittedly that music and art exhibitions are inheritance and a part of the culture, therefore those activities should be preserved and passed to the younger generation. Since the organization which carries on duty to protect cultural heritage generally is a non-profit organization, an endowment from the government is necessary. Moreover, art and music performance has greatly advantaged for society, especially young people. Teenager uses it to express themselves by singing and dancing either folklore or modern and exploring their creativity. To sum up, I confidently state that the government should spend a large proportion of the fund in community programs. However, the government funding on futuristic activities is not wasting money as it also has merit to society.
According to
many
people
, investing money on
art
projects such as music and
art
facilities are meaningless.
Instead
, the
government
should be investing the money on community programs to
meet
public requirements such as in education or
health
sectors. I
personally
disagree with this statement to
some
extent. This essay will emphasize the reason why both are crucial to our society.

The majority of national income
comes
from taxes,
therefore
it should
be spent
for the community purpose. Since education,
health
, and
labour
programs are a public basic need, the large sum of national income should invest in these sectors.
For instance
, providing qualified teacher, funding on national
health
insurance, developing new
health
infrastructures such as hospital and
health
care
centre
, and providing a job opportunity.
As a result
, if the public primary need fulfilled, it would lead to the country welfare.

Despite the facts that state above, it is
admittedly
that music and
art
exhibitions are inheritance and a part of the culture,
therefore
those activities should
be preserved
and passed to the younger generation. Since the organization which carries on duty to protect cultural heritage
generally
is a non-profit organization, an endowment from the
government
is necessary.
Moreover
,
art
and music performance has
greatly
advantaged for society,
especially
young
people
.
Teenager
uses
it to express themselves by singing and dancing either folklore or modern and exploring their creativity.

To sum up, I
confidently
state that the
government
should spend a large proportion of the fund in community programs.
However
, the
government
funding on futuristic activities is not wasting money as it
also
has merit to society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is waste money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. with his statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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