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It is often said that that governemnts spend too much on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problemsthat are more imoprtant. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is often said that that governemnts spend too much on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problemsthat are more imoprtant. v. 1
People argue that spending on protection of wildlife should be reduced as there are other serious issues to spend on. In my opinion, protection of wildlife is essential but not at the cost of other social issues. People in favour of spending on protection of wildlife believe that it is the responsibility of humans to protect the wildlife, otherwise it will cause exntinction of certain animals which can have detrimental effects on our ecosystem. There are specific species which lie above or below of other species in the food cycle and if their food cycle is disturbed it would badly effect our ecosystem. For example, if a certain specie becomes extinct, it means no food for specie next in food chain. As a result, that specie too face the threat of extinction. However, other issues such as poverty is far more pertinent to solve than protection of wildlife. Poverty is more serious issue as it threatens the survival of humankind. For that, it is important to spend more on humans including health and education which will have a positive effect on the soceity. For example, a person who is healthy both mentally and physically is not a burden on soceity and having proper set of skills enable him to a job, ultimately contributing to soceity. Similarly, a large number of people are out of school because of not being able to bear expenses. Spending in education sector by subsidising the tuition fees will increase the literacy rate of the soceity, therefore increasing the number of opportunities to earn money and reducing poverty. To conclude, wild life is part of our world and its protection is of utmost importance but other more serious issues should be solved first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
serious issues to spend on.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social issues.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
believe that it is the responsibility of humans to protect the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wildlife
,
otherwise
it will cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
exntinction
of certain animals which can have detrimental effects on our ecosystem.

There are specific species which lie above or below of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species in the food cycle and if their food cycle is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disturbed
it would
badly
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
our ecosystem.
For example
, if a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
becomes extinct, it means no
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
food


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
next
in food chain.
As a result
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
Did you mean "to face"?
too face
the threat of extinction.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues such as poverty is far more pertinent to solve than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
. Poverty is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
more


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
serious
issue as it threatens the survival of humankind. For that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend more on humans
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
including


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
health
and education which will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
soceity
.
For example
, a person who is healthy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
both


mentally and
physically
is not a burden on
Possible spelling mistake found.
soceity
and having proper set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
enable him to a job,
ultimately


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
contributing
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
soceity
.
Similarly
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are out of school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not being able to bear

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
expenses
. Spending in education sector by
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
the tuition fees will increase the literacy rate of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
soceity
,

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
increasing the number of opportunities to earn money and reducing poverty.

To conclude
, wild life is part of our world and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is of utmost importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more serious issues

should
be solved
first
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that that governemnts spend too much on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problemsthat are more imoprtant. v. 1

Essay
  American English
16 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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