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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v.52

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v. 52
Children are precious assets of any nation. The investment on them will lead the country to the sustainable development. It should be stressed that they are like unripe fruits, schools and families should help them in the way of maturity and learn them how to be helpful for society. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of schools to develop their integrity with they society, others think that family plays a vital role in this situation. I adamantly believe schools should learn children how to be a proper member of the society. I feel this way because of two main reasons that I am going to explore in the following essay. First and foremost, schools have more experience. Parents have limited knowledge about how to raise a child and most of their information has been achieved through years of trial and error. Admittedly, parents cannot make a mistake on their children because their pitfalls are irreversible. On the other hand, schools can hire experts that have the well-rounded knowledge and experience regarding how to raise a child. Without any doubt, numerous research has been done to find a most beneficial way to teach student their role in the society. Accordingly, teachers and schools' consultants with less error rate can lead children to desired outcomes of society. Secondly, schools are a simulator of a big society. If a student would be helpful for the other students, his parent and the school can conclude that he will be useful for society too. Accordingly, to strengthen this kind of behavior among students, schools can introduce numerous kind of programs during the formative years of a child education. My son' s school, for example, for enhancing the feeling of generosity want students to donate whatever they can to children who live under poverty line and their parents cannot provide basic needs of their children included notebooks and pencils. In a nutshell, I firmly believe that schools should teach their students how to be useful for their society. I feel this way because schools have more knowledge than families and schools are a small society that student is taught in them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are precious assets of any nation. The investment on them will lead the country to the sustainable development. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
that they are like unripe fruits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and families should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the way of maturity and learn them how to be helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to develop their integrity with they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that family plays a vital role in this situation. I
adamantly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a proper member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons that I am going to explore in the following essay.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have more experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have limited knowledge about how to raise a child and most of their information has
been achieved
through years of trial and error.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their pitfalls are irreversible.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can hire experts that have the well-rounded knowledge and experience regarding how to raise a child. Without any doubt, numerous research has
been done
to find a most beneficial way to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
their role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Accordingly
, teachers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
schools&
#039; consultants with less error rate can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to desired outcomes of society.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are a simulator of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would be
helpful for the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can conclude that he will be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
too.
Accordingly
, to strengthen this kind of behavior among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can introduce numerous kind of programs during the formative years of a child education. My
Possible spelling mistake found.
son&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
for example
, for enhancing the feeling of generosity want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to donate whatever they can to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under poverty line and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot provide basic needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
included notebooks and pencils.

In a nutshell, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to be useful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have more knowledge than families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is taught
in them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v. 52

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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