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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree? v.4

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 4
There is no doubt that wildlife is a necessary part of human life on which we all are dependent. While some people believe that wildlife protection needs good amount of funding and prior attention of the governments, but I completely agree that there are other essential issues exist, having precedence, and they require more attention and money than conservation projects of wild flora and fauna. Firstly, Global warming is one of the most crucial, dangerous issues all over the world that requires more funding and attention from the national governments. Changes in climatic condition for the past four decades is affecting human and animal life throughout the earth. For instance, glaciers in Antarctica have been started melting and scientists are wary that it will increase the ocean level in subsequent years and, will possess a great threat to regions near to oceans. If activities causing global warming dosen't stop, environment conditions will jeopardize and earth will become a heat chamber, therefore, human life will be under a severe danger. Another global issue to be considered on priority is water pollution caused due to plastic and waste disposal into the sea. Many industries and medical institutions are disposing their waste into rivers which in turn merges into the oceans without proper waste treatment. Therefore, by causing huge danger to aqua habitat. To illustrate many endangered marine species such as dolphins, whales are dying nowadays, due to the contamination of oceans. If sea species are not protected, we will have more extinct and endangered water species. As a result, governing bodies will have to provide huge funding for protection of such animals in the future. In my opinion, although, wildlife projects are very important in order to save the endangered plants and animals, but global warming and water pollution are the main problems that are impacting the planet tremendously, and they require more priority and money from the governments. Votes
There is no doubt that wildlife is a necessary part of human life on which we all are dependent. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that wildlife protection needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of funding and prior attention of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are other essential issues exist, having precedence, and they require more attention and money than conservation projects of wild flora and fauna.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
warming is one of the most crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
issues all over the world that requires more funding and attention from the national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Changes
in climatic condition for the past four decades is affecting human and animal life throughout the earth.
For instance
, glaciers in Antarctica have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
melting and scientists are wary that it will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
level in subsequent years and, will possess a great threat to regions near to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
. If activities causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming
Possible spelling mistake found.
dosen
't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, environment conditions will jeopardize and earth will become a heat chamber,
therefore
, human life will be under a severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
issue to
be considered
on priority is water pollution caused due to plastic and waste disposal into the sea.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industries and medical institutions are disposing their waste into rivers which in turn merges into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
without proper waste treatment.
Therefore
, by causing huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to aqua habitat. To illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered marine species such as dolphins, whales are dying nowadays, due to the contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
. If sea species are not protected, we will have more extinct and endangered water species.
As a result
, governing bodies will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide huge funding for protection of such animals in the future.

In my opinion, although, wildlife projects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to save the endangered plants and animals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and water pollution are the main problems that are impacting the planet
tremendously
, and they require more priority and money from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

Votes
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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