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In most parts of the world people are living longer. What are the possible causes of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development? v.3

In most parts of the world people are living longer. What are the possible causes of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 3
Life time expectancy has increased gradually across the world generally. This essay will discuss the probable causes of this development and highlight how this has brought a positive change in peoples life. To begin with, extensive study in the field of medical sciences has made it possible to understand the root causes of common diseases. As a result, people are aware of these common diseases and vaccinate their children at a young age against diseases such as polio and hepatitis. Furthermore, research about complex diseases including cancer and cardiovascular diseases, cure for which was not available resulted in early deaths. Also, with the development of medical sciences better state of the art facilities are available in health institutes, again increasing the probability to survive longer. For example, a ventilator can keep a person alive despite failure of his breathing system. Advancement in medical sciences has contributed positively to the society in general. As humans are probable to survive longer, it has given a chance for mankind to take advantage of services of talented people. For example, Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with a deadly disease very earlier in his life but the advancement in medical sciences kept him alive for several decades. Moreover, he carried out extensive research in the field of astronomy, discovering the other planets present in our solar system. Therefore, scientists are hopeful for humans to survive in other planets too and conducting further research to make it possible an alternative place for future generations to live on. In conclusion, the increase in life time expectancy is a blessing for human kind as they could be benefited by the services of talented people in the world as well as they are themselves able to live longer.
Did you mean "lifetime"?
Life time
expectancy has increased
gradually
across the world
generally
. This essay will discuss the probable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
causes


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
this development and highlight how this has brought a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, extensive study in the field of medical sciences has made it possible to understand the root causes of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of these common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and vaccinate their children at a young
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
age


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as polio and hepatitis.
Furthermore
, research about complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
including cancer and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cardiovascular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, cure for which was not available resulted in early deaths.
Also
, with the development of medical

sciences better
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
facilities are available in health institutes, again increasing the probability to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
survive
longer.
For example
, a ventilator can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a person alive despite failure of his breathing system.

Advancement in medical sciences has contributed
positively
to the society
in general
. As humans are probable to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
survive


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
longer
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance for mankind to take advantage of services of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Stephen


Hawking
was diagnosed
with a deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
earlier in his life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advancement in medical sciences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
him

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
alive
for several decades.
Moreover
, he carried out extensive research in the field of astronomy, discovering the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
planets present in our solar system.
Therefore
, scientists are hopeful for humans to survive in other planets

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
too
and conducting
further
research to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible an alternative place for future generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on.

In conclusion
, the increase in
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
expectancy is a blessing for human kind as they could
be benefited
by the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
services
of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world
as well
as they are themselves able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay In most parts of the world people are living longer. What are the possible causes of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
16 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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