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It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 2
Although, it is universally acknowledged that higher authorities of states reserve most part of monetary budget on rescuing undomesticated animals, whereas, it is always debatable that there are many prominent concerns that should not be overlooked. However, I completely disagree with the statement because natural fauna is component of ecosystem and serves as a huge source of revenue for countries. Firstly, fauna is as important as humans are in this planet and comprises a great part of eco-system. Nowadays, many universal problems we are facing more or less related to interference in the eco-system. State has started several projects under ministry of environment to protect the endangered species. For example, many environmentalists have been studying from decades about the disturbance in ecosystem and conclude that any addition or destruction of animal from ecosystem results in biodiversity loss and global warming exacerbation. In other words, it eventually save us from further haphazard that occur as a consequence. Secondly, initiatives by several governments to spend money for protecting wildlife animals brings more prosperity to the society in return as compared to investment. For instance, In USA, California theme Park is most famous the world over and statistics depict that government spare around 10 billion dollars as maintenance and development fund and generate almost 22 billion dollars perennially. Furthermore, it begets benefits in terms of providing natural habitat to extincting animals and employment opportunities for the local public. To conclude, many people moan on allocating budget for save wildlife, reasoning that this could be spent on many other issues encountered these days but these project save our planet from many other problems and augment monetary status of the local government and public.
Although, it is
universally
acknowledged that higher authorities of states reserve most part of monetary budget on rescuing undomesticated
animals
, whereas, it is always debatable that there are
many
prominent concerns that should not
be overlooked
.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement
because
natural fauna is component of ecosystem and serves as a huge source of revenue for countries.

Firstly
, fauna is as
important
as humans are in this planet and comprises a great part of
eco-system
. Nowadays,
many
universal problems we are facing more or less related to interference in the
eco-system
. State has
started
several projects under ministry of environment to protect the endangered species.
For example
,
many
environmentalists have been studying from decades about the disturbance in ecosystem and conclude that any addition or destruction of
animal
from ecosystem results in biodiversity loss and global warming exacerbation.
In other words
, it
eventually
save
us from
further
haphazard that occur as a consequence.

Secondly
, initiatives by several
governments
to spend money for protecting wildlife
animals
brings more prosperity to the society in return as compared to investment.
For instance
, In USA, California theme Park is most
famous
the world over and statistics depict that
government
spare around 10 billion dollars as maintenance and development fund and generate almost 22 billion dollars
perennially
.
Furthermore
, it begets benefits in terms of providing natural habitat to extincting
animals
and employment opportunities for the local public.

To conclude
,
many
people
moan on allocating budget for save wildlife, reasoning that this could
be spent
on
many
other issues encountered these days
but
these project save our planet from
many
other problems and augment monetary status of the local
government
and public.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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