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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For any business to be successful, it must spend a lot of money on advertising. v.797

For any business to be successful, it must spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 797
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For any business to be successful, it must spend a lot of money on advertising. There is no doubt that advertising has a prominent role in every business. Due to its paramount importance, efforts for elevating its effectiveness has been always amongst businessmen' s top priorities. No one can deny the direct and indirect effects of advertising in selling products. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether for having good selling product must spend a lot of money on advertising or not? Some people believe that companies should spend a lot of budget on this way. However, some others take an opposite view. I, despite the general consensus, contend that the first view carries more weight. In what following, I am going to aptly delve into my perspective. First of all, one should take into account the fact that most of people spend a lot of their time on social media. One way that the business can show their products is that advertise in this way. So the company must spend a lot of money for show and indicate the positive view of their products to people. In the social media, people write their comment and idea about products. So it is very vital that one product investigate in this way to show itself as good as possible. The result of a recent study in my country indicates that 78 percent read other people' s comments on product. So the company must spend a lot of money in social media to show their products. The second reason that I would like to bring about this topic is that customer do not know about a new product. They do not know about the positive effect of one product. So companies should advertise their new product to introduce it to people. They must indicate good view of their product. Although, most of advertisements are exaggerate. On the other hand, the company must advertise also their old products, if they want to stay in the market. For people when see an old product, it can be nostalgic for them and persuade them to buy it. Take an personal experience as an example, When I see a advertisement about an old chips that produce from 50 years, I remember my childhood and it is encouraged me to buy it. The last but not least reason by which the claim is justified is that celebrities have an indisputable effect on viewpoint of people. The companies can use famous people to introduce their product. Most of people buy one product because of their celebrities advise it. They think it is very good product because he or she like it. For example, when one superstar advertise one T-shirt, her lover buy that product, for they think that they look like her. As most of income of celebrities in this way and their wage is very expensive, the companies must spend a lot of money in this way. Psychologist have conducted many studies which show that it has a good result for buy one product, when people see other people who like them buy it. In the celebrities case, they do not think about the product, because they believe that it is the best product. From what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that advertisements have a vital role in all of business. According to successful business, all of them use in this way. For example the apple company is one of the most popular company in the world and most of people know it in technology field. But this company advertise their new product to people. Consequently, it is highly recommended that companies must use the newest way of advertising and employ the professional people in this field to help them in success way.
Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree with the following statement?

For any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to be successful, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on advertising.

There is no doubt that advertising has a prominent role in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Due to its paramount importance, efforts for elevating its effectiveness has been always amongst
Possible spelling mistake found.
businessmen&
#039; s top priorities. No one can deny the direct and indirect effects of advertising in selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this issue is whether for having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on advertising or not?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of budget on this way.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others take an opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. I, despite the
Consider using "consensus".
general consensus
, contend that the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
carries more weight. In what following, I am going to
aptly
delve into my perspective.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one should take into account the fact that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of their time on social media. One way that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
in this way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
and indicate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
write their comment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
investigate in this way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
itself as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as possible. The result of a recent study in my country indicates that 78 percent read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s comments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in social media to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their products.

The second reason that I would like to bring about this topic is
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "that customer does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that customer do
not know about a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. They do not know about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to introduce it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the advertisements") or simply say "most advertisements".
most of advertisements
are
Consider using a past participle here: "exaggerated".
exaggerate
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
also
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, if they want to stay in the market. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, it can be nostalgic for them and persuade them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. Take
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
personal experience as an example, When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advertisement about an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
chips that produce from 50 years, I remember my childhood and it
is encouraged
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
reason by which the claim
is justified
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have an indisputable effect on viewpoint of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
advise it. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he or she like it.
For example
, when one superstar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
one T-shirt, her lover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, for they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they look like her. As
Consider using "most income" or "most of the income".
most of income
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in this way and their wage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in this way. Psychologist have conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
that it has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
result for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
case, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that it is the best product.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may
safely
reach the conclusion that advertisements have a vital role in all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. According to successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, all of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in this way.
For example
the apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is one of the most popular
Please check whether a plural form of 'company' should be used.
company
in the world and most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know it in technology field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Consequently
, it is
highly
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the newest way of advertising and employ the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this field to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in success way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
102Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay For any business to be successful, it must spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 797

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
645 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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