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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages. v.4

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages. v. 4
It is important to consider the impact of a change in one’s life. While some people think that avoiding change and keeping everything same has more benefits, others disagree and think that changing things bring more advantages. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and explain why I feel that it has more benefits. To begin with the positives, one of the most crucial one is that with a change person learn new things. For instance, if a person gets a new job in an organization, he may learn new skills that are being used there and about the culture of his new company. Similarly, when people buy new things they learn about its features and how to operate them. In contrast, if they do not bother themselves and not change things, they would not be able to learn these latest trends and skills. On the other hand, the main disadvantage of a change is that it may bring discomfort for some people. The reason for this is that many people feel comfortable in using a particular thing or tool and therefore do not want to change it. For example, many people choose to wear clothes from a particular brand, and feel irritated with others. This happens because they have been using this particular dress for a long time. However, I think human being has ability to adapt different things. New things may cause discomfort for some time, but people can very soon accept the changes. In conclusion, although there are drawbacks of changing things such as difficulty in adapting them, it teaches people various skills and experience. In my opinion, the benefits of change clearly outweigh the disadvantage.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the impact of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in one’s life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and keeping everything same has more benefits, others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that changing things bring more advantages. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I feel that it has more benefits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, one of the most crucial one is that with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
For instance
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job in an organization, he may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
there and about the culture of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Similarly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about its features and how to operate them.
In contrast
, if they do not bother themselves and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
things, they would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
these latest trends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, the main disadvantage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is that it may bring discomfort for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
The reason for this is
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel comfortable in using a particular thing or tool and
therefore
do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to wear clothes from a particular brand, and feel irritated with others. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been using this particular dress for a long time.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
human being has ability to adapt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
things may cause discomfort for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

In conclusion
, although there are drawbacks of changing things such as difficulty in adapting them, it teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
clearly
outweigh the disadvantage.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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