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It is considered that the change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

It is considered that the change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
İt is believed by a group of people that alteration has a significant effect on people rather than keeping everything the same or remaining the same thoughts. I believe that positive sides of the change in every aspect of life are significantly higher than negative sides. I consider, the only disadvantage caused by modification is that it may bring discomfort for some people. The adoption of the change in some things takes a lot of time for the vast majority of the people who get used to their own styles or habits. For example, there are some people who inclined to purchase clothes or items from the same brand. They feel irritated for the changes in these types of things as they can be anxious after having altered their favourite brands. Nevertheless, the benefits of the change on people are far greater. First of all, having changed some behaviours or habits enables people to shape a better personality. For instance, some people tend to laziness that prevents to become a profitable worker or hard-working student. However, if they can be avoided from laziness, it would pave the way to being more successful in their future career. Furthermore, the changes allow people to learn the new things such as skils which in turn has lead people to think out of the box. For example, learning different languages enables people to acquire more knowledge about customs of other countries, in that way people can broaden their minds. In conclusion, although the change brings discomfort to people, considering the fact that it allows people to prevent their bad habits and enhance their outlooks I believe that advantages of the alteration outweigh its disadvantages.
İt
is believed
by a group of p
eople
that alteration has a significant effect on p
eople
r
ather
than keeping everything the same or remaining the same thoughts. I believe that p
ositive
sides of the c
hange
in every aspect of life are
significantly
higher than n
egative
sides.

I consider, the o
nly
disadvantage caused by modification is that it may bring discomfort for s
ome
p
eople.
The adoption of the c
hange
in s
ome
things takes a
lot of
time for the vast majority of the p
eople
who g
et
u
sed
to their o
wn
styles or habits. F
or example,
there are s
ome
p
eople
who inclined to p
urchase
clothes or items from the same brand. They feel irritated for the c
hanges
in these types of things as they can be anxious after having altered their
favourite
brands.

N
evertheless,
the benefits of the c
hange
on p
eople
are far greater. F
irst
of all, having c
hanged
s
ome
behaviours
or habits enables p
eople
to shape a better personality. F
or instance,
s
ome
p
eople
tend to laziness that p
revents
to become a profitable worker or h
ard-
working student. H
owever,
if they can
be avoided
from laziness, it would pave the way to being more successful in their future career. F
urthermore,
the c
hanges
a
llow
p
eople
to learn the new things such as
skils
which in turn has lead p
eople
to t
hink
out of the box. F
or example,
learning d
ifferent
languages enables p
eople
to acquire more knowledge about customs of other countries, in that way p
eople
can broaden their minds.

I
n conclusion,
although the c
hange
brings discomfort to p
eople,
considering the fact that it a
llows
p
eople
to p
revent
their b
ad
habits and enhance their outlooks I believe that advantages of the alteration outweigh its disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It is considered that the change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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