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It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. v. 4
In this recent years, a plethora of people assures that Neoteric gadgets, such as tablets, computers, and mobile phones will supersede physical books. However, others bolster that paper-based manuscript does not obsolete compare to the electronic one. Moreover, this essay will depict my approbation toward the former idea. First of all, electronic devices are more efficient. It is undeniable that laptops and phones are eminent than notes. Their capacity of storing scripts is substantial, unlike the paper-based. Moreover, these inventions are most mobile due to the lightweight and compact size. For example, a laptop is capable to save writings, equivalent to a thousand books. However, its weight does not increment. Therefore, it is prevalent that most of the society tends to harness this technology. Furthermore, handwritten notes are not perpetual. Since the composition used to manufacture paper is organic, it is logical that these materials are prone to be deteriorated by time or pandemonium. There is ample evidence to suggest that many vital notes are terminated due to aging or burnt. On the other hand, sophisticated devices like computers are proficient to store critical scripts for eternity because they are saved in an online database. Thus, it will be a sporadic event if a data that stored in gadgets depleted. Hence, by harnessing these prototypes, the community will be benefited. To recapitulate, in this sophisticated era the use of paper is not a propensity anymore. People prefer to utilize novel yet beneficial devices to store their books. Moreover, judging from the facts, paper-based tools will be mitigated gradually.
In this recent years, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assures that Neoteric gadgets, such as tablets, computers, and mobile phones will supersede physical books.
However
, others bolster that paper-based manuscript does not obsolete compare to the electronic one.
Moreover
, this essay will depict my approbation toward the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, electronic devices are more efficient. It is undeniable that laptops and phones are
Use "(eminent)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
eminent
than notes. Their capacity of storing scripts is substantial, unlike the paper-based.
Moreover
, these inventions are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
mobile due to the lightweight and compact size.
For example
, a laptop is capable to save writings, equivalent to a thousand books.
However
, its weight does not increment.
Therefore
, it is prevalent that most of the society tends to harness this technology.

Furthermore
, handwritten notes are not perpetual. Since the composition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manufacture paper is organic, it is logical that these materials are prone to
be deteriorated
by time or pandemonium. There is ample evidence to suggest that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vital notes
are terminated
due to aging or burnt.
On the other hand
, sophisticated devices like computers are proficient to store critical scripts for eternity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are saved
in an online database.
Thus
, it will be a sporadic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
if a data that stored in gadgets depleted.
Hence
, by harnessing these prototypes, the community will
be benefited
.

To recapitulate, in this sophisticated era the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of paper is not a propensity anymore.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer to utilize novel
yet
beneficial devices to store their books.
Moreover
, judging from the facts, paper-based tools will
be mitigated
gradually
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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