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It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. v. 2
In this recent years, the great majority of people generally agree that the tremendous prevalence of electronic equipment such as tablets, laptops, smartphones will supersede printed books in the near future. Individually, I entirely approbate with this point of view. Let us start by considering the facts that paper-based manuscripts do not seem to be perpetual. So far the ingredient used to produce paper is still wood flour or maybe recycled materials. However, the nature of these materials is organic, it is logic that paper books are prone to suffer negative impacts from outside, for instance, the war and fire, causing damage to vital notes are key elements, along with the degradation of the handwritten notes by the time maybe waste the amount of money to resume. In other words, the environmental influences of the paper industry are considerable, even recycled paper. The excessive production of the pulp can lead to the highly mechanized harvesting of wood. The waste from these manufactories causes severe drawback effects to the quality of air, land, and water. On the other hand, reasons can be given to justify why electronic devices are growing uptrend. We live in a world, which is digital innovation becomes an intrinsic part of our life. E-books also are an application extremely efficient, a kind of tool must-have to keep abreast of the latest documents from over the world in the information technology age. One of the most essential characteristics of e-books are its substantial capability of storing information in its tight memory, especially saved in an online database, thus, the search is more convenient. Another merit evident to concur that sophisticated devices such as laptops are almost movable by virtue of being a lightweight and compact size. From these arguments, one should accept that in this technological era, using conventional books are not commonly inclined. Transformation should gradually substitute the printed-book.
In this recent years, the great majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the tremendous prevalence of electronic equipment such as tablets, laptops, smartphones will supersede printed books in the near future.
Individually
, I
entirely
Possible spelling mistake found.
approbate
with this point of view.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by considering the facts that paper-based manuscripts do not seem to be perpetual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far the ingredient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce paper is
still
wood flour or maybe recycled materials.
However
, the nature of these materials is organic, it is logic that paper books are prone to suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts from outside,
for instance
, the war and fire, causing damage to vital notes are key elements, along with the degradation of the handwritten notes by the time maybe waste the amount of money to resume.
In other words
, the environmental influences of the paper industry are considerable, even recycled paper. The excessive production of the pulp can lead to the
highly
mechanized harvesting of wood. The waste from these
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactories
causes severe drawback effects to the quality of air, land, and water.

On the other hand
, reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to justify why electronic devices are growing uptrend. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world, which is digital innovation becomes an intrinsic part of our life. E-books
also
are an application
extremely
efficient, a kind of tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of the latest documents from over the world in the information technology age. One of the most essential characteristics of e-books are its substantial capability of storing information in its tight memory,
especially
saved in an online database,
thus
, the search is more convenient. Another merit evident to concur that sophisticated devices such as laptops are almost movable by virtue of being a lightweight and compact size.

From these arguments, one should accept that in this technological era, using conventional books are not
commonly
inclined. Transformation should
gradually
substitute the printed-book.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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