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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development? v.9

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 9
Nowadays, with the development of technology and communication many scientists and tourists are able to conquer the remote areas such as the South Pole, Amazon Rainforests, without any inconvenience. Moreover, there are many pros and cons due to such enhancements, which will be discussed in detail in this essay. Firstly, people can get a new experience in visiting such places, so that they can share the information about their excitement of seeing the place, the vegetation available, to the outside world by posting on social media. Furthermore, the people of the present day want to taste the thrill of holidaying and exploring new areas, because it gives them valuable and unforgettable memories. Indeed, scientists also pay a visit to isolated places, so that they can research about the location, the organisms living as well as the growth of plants. Therefore, their investigation helped the world to recognize various interesting information about these places. For example, the research carried out by the scientists in Arctic regions brought into limelight about the lives of many Polar bears, that are living away from the human-beings. On the other hand, while planning for trips or journey to such obscure regions, people must always be safeguarded. Furthermore, they must be aware of the risky situations that they might face if not pre-planned well ahead. Travelling to the forests or zones that are colder are harmful to people, because in the forests there are many insects or animals that might harm the human-beings and similarly, researches in colder areas without proper food, water and besides comforters will make the survival difficult in such regions. Moreover, the journey to lonesome locations is both risky and costly activities. In conclusion, expeditions to new faraway zones is enjoyable, an excitable as long as it is safe, but these activities are unacceptable if it is danger to people
Nowadays, with the development of technology and communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists and tourists are able to conquer the remote areas such as the South Pole, Amazon Rainforests, without any inconvenience.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons due to such enhancements, which will
be discussed
in detail in this essay.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new experience in visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can share the information about their excitement of seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, the vegetation available, to the outside world by posting on social media.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the present day want to taste the thrill of holidaying and exploring new areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them valuable and unforgettable memories.
Indeed
, scientists
also
pay a visit to isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can research about the location, the organisms living
as well
as the growth of plants.
Therefore
, their investigation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the world to recognize various interesting information about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, the research carried out by the scientists in Arctic regions brought into limelight about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Polar bears, that are living away from the human-beings.

On the other hand
, while planning for trips or journey to such obscure regions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always
be safeguarded
.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of the risky situations that they might face if not
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-planned
well ahead. Travelling to the forests or zones that are colder are harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the forests there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
insects or animals that might harm the human-beings and
similarly
, researches in colder areas without proper food, water and
besides
comforters will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the survival difficult in such regions.
Moreover
, the journey to lonesome locations is both risky and costly activities.

In conclusion
, expeditions to new faraway zones is enjoyable, an excitable as long as it is safe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these activities are unacceptable if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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