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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development? v.5

The world is full of natural enviroments that humans are still exploring and trying to access until this day. South Pole is one of the hardeset places to visit because of its severe cold weather. However, I believe that it is benfitial to explore and to study different kind of natural enviroments, but also believe that this is one of the main aspects of pollution that leads to global warming. Exploring natural enviroments is one of the best tools that help scientists in their research and studies. Scientists in their researches rely mostly to access the enviroment in order to preview the information they are looking for. Travelling accessibilty to the South Pole would give a great advantage in the world of scientists and would come up with new scientific studies. Besides the scientists work, the South Pole is also a great tourist attraction because of its nature and people may not observe it anywhere else. On the other hand, the conflicts that may rise up from people accessing the South Pole is the pollution that leads to the golbal warming. As we all know global warming is one of main aspects in our world, the most effected is the natural enviorment especially the South Pole. More people means we will have more pollution, the tourists will need a place to stay and to burn something as fuel or wood in order to have a warm area to live in when not observing the South Pole. The pollution of the emissioned gas will effect the enivomrent and harm it. Furthermore, the pollution is not only from getting warmed, it is also for the basic needs of our life nowdays. To conclude, it is a very great step in our world to access the South Pole, scientists can study the enviroment and tourists can observe the beauty of nature. The organizations caring about nature and the effect of global warming on our world should take measures and to put rules for those who want to visit the South Pole in order not to harm the natural enviroment.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
enviroments that humans are
still
exploring and trying to access until this day. South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
is one of the hardeset places to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather.
However
, I believe that it is benfitial to explore and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
enviroments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
believe that this is one of the main aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
that leads to global warming.

Exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
enviroments is one of the best tools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
in their research and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
in their researches rely
mostly
to access the enviroment in order to preview the information they are looking for. Travelling accessibilty to the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
would give a great advantage in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Besides
the
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scientists
work, the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
is
also
a great tourist attraction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not observe it anywhere else.

On the other hand
, the conflicts that may rise up from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accessing the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
that leads to the golbal warming. As we all know global warming is one of main aspects in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the most effected is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
enviorment
especially
the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
. More
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
means we will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, the tourists will need a place to stay and to burn something as fuel or wood in order to have a warm area to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in when not observing the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of the emissioned gas will effect the enivomrent and harm it.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from getting warmed, it is
also
for the basic needs of our life nowdays.

To conclude
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great step in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to access the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the enviroment and tourists can observe the beauty of nature. The organizations caring about nature and the effect of global warming on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should take measures and to put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for those who want to visit the South
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
in order not to harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
enviroment.
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IELTS essay It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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