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It is not necessary to travel to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is not necessary to travel to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. v. 1
It is commonly believed that it is not essential to travel to the nations or territories to figure about their cultures, and today’s state - of - the - art technological facilities such as computers connected to the Internet or films can be used. In my view, I do not agree with this thinking. It is understandable why some people advocate the idea of learning about the culture without going travelling to other sites. The rationale for this is that in this day and age, thanks to Internet coverage on almost the corners of the world, a wealth of knowledge about all fields are available for people to have access to, with no exception of culture - associated information. People can easily find the answers for questions or issues about culture which they are interested in only by searching on Google or other browsers. In addition, film producers also tend to include the contents about culture into some their films to advertise the image of their country so that people also find out about it through this kind of films, or even through culture-related books which are various today. However, some information on the Internet, in the books or films may be incorrect or make no sense to read. Moreover, some knowledge, which readers care about, may not be included on the Internet, books or films. All of these may limit the human’s perception of the certain culture. I am of the opinion that people should go travelling to the countries where they want to find out its culture and custom to have practical experience in lieu of learning through the Internet or materials offering only theories which sometimes are insufficient for people’s information exploration. The reason is that travellers would have a chance to experience actually, figure out about culture by themselves, but not by others’ thinking or review written in newspapers or books. This could help them truly understand about what the culture of the country really is and how it is presented in reality. Although today, moving to other places to know about the culture is considered an unnecessary method, it could bring lots of practical experience which books, films or the Internet could not bring about.
It is
commonly
believed that it is not essential to travel to the nations or territories to figure about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s state
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
of
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
art technological facilities such as computers connected to the Internet or films can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. In my view, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this thinking.

It is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
without going travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sites. The rationale for this is that in this day and age, thanks to Internet coverage on almost the corners of the world, a wealth of knowledge about all fields are available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have access to, with no
The usual collocation for "exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
associated information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
find the answers for questions or issues about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which they
are interested
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by searching on Google or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
browsers.
In addition
, film producers
also
tend to include the contents about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
into
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their films" or "some films"?
some their films
to advertise the image of their country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
find out about it through this kind of films, or even through culture-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which are various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information on the Internet, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or films may be incorrect or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
no sense to read.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge, which readers care about, may not
be included
on the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or films. All of these may limit the human’s perception of the certain culture.

I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go travelling to the countries where they want to find out its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and custom to have practical experience in lieu of learning through the Internet or materials offering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theories which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are insufficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
information exploration. The reason is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
would have a chance to experience actually, figure out about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not by others’ thinking or review written in newspapers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
truly
understand about what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the country
really
is and how it
is presented
in reality.

Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places to know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is considered
an unnecessary method, it could bring lots of practical experience which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, films or the Internet could not bring about.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is not necessary to travel to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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