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It is necessary for parents attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is necessary for parents attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 2
Now a day, Parents are exhausted with their work. There are lots of institutes teaching the parenting courses in our society. People are likely to say that parents should attend the parenting training so that they will grow their children with discipline and some certain skills. Others argue that parents no need to attend training because grandparents will take care of their children. Let discuss the both sides and get a fair conclusion. Firstly, In home if both the mother and father are working, then it will be difficult to grow children, however there might be chance grandparents should take care of them. They can take them to schools, parks and malls. Great grandparents, they know how to grow the children without the help of anyone. For instance, grandparents raised their children in the same way they can also manage to grow. Aunts with the help of their experience they will grow the children and teach them well what to do and not do. When parents are free they can also see their children and advise them. I personally feel, When everyone in the home, especially there is no need to go for parenting training. On the other hand, Parents who should not have more experience in the parenting they must and should attend the classes. Parents should make free themselves from their work and take care of their children. For example, parents who are ready to go for parenting course they should attend the classes and write down the important points make sure that it should be followed. It's not necessary to attend all the classes, but we should follow up important classes. Children grew up with more healthy and have more strength. They will teach which food is necessary for children. To sum up, Parents who are willing to grow up their children son their own they must and should follow the parenting course guidance In other side The grandparents are very experienced when comes to grow children they no need to take course they can grown by own. Some parents will hand over the kids to grandparents and go to jobs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are exhausted
with their work. There are lots of institutes teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in our society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are likely to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with discipline and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
will take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
discuss the both sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
conclusion.

Firstly
, In home if both the mother and father are working, then it will be difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
however
there might be chance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
should take care of them. They can take them to schools, parks and malls. Great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, they know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of anyone.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
raised their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the same way
they can
also
manage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
. Aunts with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their experience they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teach them well what to do and not do. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are free they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and advise them. I
personally
feel, When everyone in the home,
especially
there is no need to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
who should not have more experience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
free themselves from their work and take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who are ready to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and write down the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that it should
be followed
. It's not necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should follow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
grew up with more healthy and have more strength. They will teach which food is necessary for children.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
who are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
son their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
and should follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
guidance In other side The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
experienced when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they no need to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
they can
Did you mean "grow" or "be grown"?
grown
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will hand over the kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and go to jobs.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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