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Question: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

Question: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays It is a fact that the world is becoming smaller because of the rapid speed of globalization. People are able to get whatever they want in every part of the world easily and without any difficulties. in this essay we will discuss the Profits and losses of this subject. On the one hand, it is obvious that since the industrial revolution it becomes easier to transport anything from one side of the world to the other side. Furthermore, by this phenomenal you can buy anything you want from a small shop close to your apartment that comes from the farthest country from you. for instance, IKEA the world’s biggest wholesale shop in the world first built in Sweden and then it expands its territory to the whole world and today it has become a billion-dollar industry you can choose between different brands. So it is a positive side of this matter that you have more options to choose your desired product before then. On the other hand, although huge international companies tend to open branches in other countries can lead to creating more job opportunities in those countries, but it can be destructive for smaller businesses and cause unemployment for them. For example, when Mc Donald decided to run its company thorough other countries, it had created a lot of problems for local Chinese fast food because they were more expensive and less variation and nobody wanted them anymore. so although it has many interests it can be devastating for local trades. In conclusion, I believe that globalization has partly eliminated the trade and cultural difficulties between nations, thus bring people closer. But it damages local shops and makes them smaller and this is something we should consider.
Nowadays It is a fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is becoming smaller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid speed of globalization.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever they want in every part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
easily
and without any difficulties.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay we will discuss the Profits and losses of this subject.

On the one hand, it is obvious that since the industrial revolution it becomes easier to transport anything from one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side.
Furthermore
, by this phenomenal you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything you want from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shop close to your apartment that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the farthest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, IKEA the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
biggest wholesale shop in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
first
built in Sweden and then it expands its territory to the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it has become a billion-dollar industry you can choose between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of this matter that you have more options to choose your desired product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
then.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, although huge international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to open branches in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can lead to creating more job opportunities in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be destructive for smaller businesses and cause unemployment for them.
For example
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mc
Donald decided to run its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
thorough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it had created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for local Chinese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were more expensive and less variation and nobody wanted them anymore.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interests it can be devastating for local trades.

In conclusion
, I believe that globalization has partly eliminated the trade and cultural difficulties between nations,
thus
bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
closer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it damages local shops and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them smaller and this is something we should consider.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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