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It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree. v.4

It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 4
These days in many countries the short term courses related to parenting has been evolved. While some argue that parents should attend the parenting training course for upbringing, their children I, however, disagree with them due to lack of guardians advice and inbuilt the talent of a parent. The main reason why such courses are high in demand in many countries is due to an increase in the rise of the nuclear family and lack of parental or grandparental advice. To elucidate, nowadays, there is a trend of a nuclear family, so many new parents often do not have enough skills and knowledge about how to raise a child, resulting in an increase of such course. Also, such parents do not seek advice from their parents or grandparents as believing that joining such a course will enhance their knowledge. For instance, in India, most new couples who will become parents or became parents are giving priority to joining parenting training course because lack of knowledge about or not taking suggestions and advice from their parents how to raise its infant. Another reason is having an inbuilt talent. It is true that many parents have the talent of raising their child, which evolves as time pass by; due to this, there is no need to join such courses. Also, they do not require any theoretical practice because the practical situation gives more expertise. For example, in Japan, many parents have grown their children without such training as they believe that practical things provide a broader view rather than theoretical or research studies. In conclusion, although many believe that joining such parenting training crash course is more beneficial, in my view, it is not necessary due to firstly, having parental advice and living with parents, and secondly, being to have an inbuilt talent which gradually increases are far more fruitful.
These days in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the short term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
has
been evolved
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for upbringing, their children I,
however
, disagree with them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of guardians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
and inbuilt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
of a parent.

The main reason why such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are high in demand in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to an increase in the rise of the nuclear family and lack of parental or
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandparental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
. To elucidate, nowadays, there is a trend of a nuclear family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge about how to raise a child, resulting in an increase of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Also
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or grandparents as believing that joining such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
will enhance their knowledge.
For instance
, in India, most new couples who will become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are giving priority to joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lack of knowledge about or not taking suggestions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
how to raise its infant.

Another reason is having an inbuilt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
of raising their child, which evolves as time pass by;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this, there is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Also
, they do not require any theoretical practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the practical situation gives more expertise.
For example
, in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have grown their children without such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as they believe that practical things provide a broader view
rather
than theoretical or research studies.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that joining such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
crash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is more beneficial, in my view, it is not necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
firstly
, having parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
and living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and
secondly
, being to have an inbuilt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
which
gradually
increases are far more fruitful.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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