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It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting course to bring their children up. v. 1
In modern society, more and more people are investing their time, money and efforts in taking care of their offspring. This is for the benefits for future generation, there for I strongly support the idea that parents should take courses about raising children, especially when they are at very early ages. At first, not everyone who has just had or is going to have a child knows necessary things about what they are going to deal with. Infants are often new with their own parents, very sensitive with the surroundings and have special features which we do not often see in people around us every day. Therefore, every mother and father need to know what a baby normally behave, why he or she could cry, what food they can eat or how to keep warm for a child. In addition to that, many skills are also important for parents to gain if they want to raise their offspring successfully, such as calming a child when he cry, making him smile, trying not to get angry, playing toys together and even teaching basic language skills. For parents, especially those who have children for the first time, all lessons about this are crucial for them to nurture a child and can be found only in parenting classes where they can learn from professionals who have had decades of experience in working and guiding how to work with children. Another reason for taking parenting courses is the long-term benefits the future generations. Research has shown that the care for children at early stage is vital for their development compared to what they could receive at any other ages. The children who have first five years in the condition with their parents’ suitable care are often healthier, both mentally and physically, than their counterparts. Additionally, children could also learn languages and many other skills better and faster later in their life if they were taught basic words and sentences in family environment when they were just able to speak. For example, it has been recorded in China that many citizens achieved high academic success thanks to the fact that they had been taught basic Chinese and English when they were just over 10 months old. Thus, it would be a huge mistake if parents do not pay attention on their offspring at first few years of their life, and taking professional training of raising a child is certainly necessary if they want their future generations to be better. In conclusion, anyone who has duty of nurturing a child should take specialized courses about raising children to have suitable knowledge and abilities for the task in order to benefit their offspring in many years later in life.
In modern society, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are investing their time, money and efforts in taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
. This is for the benefits for future generation, there for I
strongly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take courses about raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
when they are at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early ages.

At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
, not everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had or is going to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
knows necessary things about what they are going to deal with. Infants are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
new with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive with the surroundings and have special features which we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around us every day.
Therefore
, every mother and father need to know what a baby
normally
behave, why he or she could cry, what food they can eat or how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
warm for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
In addition
to that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to gain if they want to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
successfully
, such as calming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
when he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "cries", "cried".
cry
, making him smile, trying not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
angry, playing toys together and even teaching basic language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
especially
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
time, all lessons about this are crucial for them to nurture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and can
be found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in parenting classes where they can learn from professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have had decades of experience in working and guiding how to work with children.

Another reason for taking parenting courses is the long-term benefits the future generations. Research has shown that the care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at early stage is vital for their development compared to what they could receive at any other ages. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
five years in the condition with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
suitable care are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
healthier, both mentally and
physically
, than their counterparts.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
also
learn languages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
better and faster later in their life if they
were taught
basic words and sentences in family environment when they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
able to speak.
For example
, it has
been recorded
in China that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens achieved high academic success thanks to the fact that they had
been taught
basic Chinese and English when they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Thus
, it would be a huge mistake if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not pay attention on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
few years of their life, and taking professional training of raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
certainly
necessary if they want their future generations to be better.

In conclusion
, anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has duty of nurturing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should take specialized courses about raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have suitable knowledge and abilities for the task in order to benefit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years later in life.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting course to bring their children up. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
452 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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