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In some countries, there has been an increasing number of parents who educated their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In some countries, there has been an increasing number of parents who educated their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Education always plays a vital role in modern society. there are an increasing number of parents preferred to educating their children at home in some nations. However, others are holding the opposite opinion. This essay will argue that why the pros of educating children at school outweigh the cons. On the one hand, schooling will benefits children in several ways. Firstly, children will not only acquire knowledge but also spark their desires for learning after formal schooling. As the teachers are well educated and trained which they know well about how to deal with and teaching their students. Besides, it is a common phenomenon that children are more likely to study hard with teachers instead of their parents. In addition, children learn at school with their peers will advance their minds and socialisation. It is, not only the behaviours but also the psychology are influent if a child study alone at home. On the other hand, people educating their children at home are claimed that study at home is more convenient and efficient. There are much time will be saved if people choose to learn at home. In other words, parents avoid to spend time sending their children to school, and then they would arrange the study schedules more flexible. Additional, parents would have enough patience to stimulate their children to the preference for some useful subjects which particularly fit their careers in the future. In conclusion, although educating at home convenient both students and parents, the importance of schooling cannot be ignored. As learning at home are required a great deal of discipline which most of the students are cannot achieve. I completely agree that the benefits of study at school outweigh the drawbacks.
Education always plays a vital role in modern society.
there
are an increasing number of
parents
preferred to
educating
their
children
at home in
some
nations.
However
, others are holding the opposite opinion. This essay will argue that why the pros of
educating
children
at
school
outweigh the cons.

On the one hand, schooling will
benefits
children
in several ways.
Firstly
,
children
will not
only
acquire knowledge
but
also
spark their desires for learning after formal schooling. As the teachers are
well educated
and trained which they know well about how to deal with and teaching their students.
Besides
, it is a common phenomenon that
children
are more likely to
study
hard
with teachers
instead
of their
parents
.
In addition
,
children
learn at
school
with their peers will advance their minds and
socialisation
. It is, not
only
the
behaviours
but
also
the psychology are
influent
if a child
study
alone at home.

On the other hand
,
people
educating
their
children
at home
are claimed
that
study
at home is more convenient and efficient. There are much time will
be saved
if
people
choose to learn at home.
In other words
,
parents
avoid to spend
time sending their
children
to
school
, and then they would arrange the
study
schedules more flexible. Additional,
parents
would have
enough
patience to stimulate their
children
to the preference for
some
useful subjects which
particularly
fit their careers in the future.

In conclusion
, although
educating
at home convenient both students and
parents
, the importance of schooling cannot be
ignored
.
As
learning at home
are required
a great deal of discipline which most of the students are cannot achieve. I completely
agree
that the benefits of
study
at
school
outweigh the drawbacks.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, there has been an increasing number of parents who educated their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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