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It is much more convenient to watching movie on television or computer than to buy ticket and going to the cinema. In the nearest future, the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is much more convenient to watching movie on television or computer than to buy ticket and going to the cinema. In the nearest future, the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. v. 1
Due to the technology advancement, people are able to watch movies on their portable devices. Some people argue that to fully enjoy the movie, you have to watch it in the cinema. Others prefer to watch it on their phones and tablets. In my opinion, in order to get the full experience and joyful, you have to watch the movies in the cinema. Since the start of the movie industry, movies have been watched in cinemas. Watching a movie is not a one directional aspect. It is a multi-dimensional experience. For instance, we usually go to the cinema to watch a movie with friends or family. We enjoy eating the snakes while watching the movie on the huge screen. The atmosphere in the there is different. Many people are gathered there to watch the movie. This experience you will hardly get if you watch the movie on your phone. On the other hand, watching a movie on the phone or tablet is more convenient. In other words, you can watch a movie wherever you are and whenever you want. The only thing you need is a good internet connection to stream the movie or have it downloaded earlier on your device. This could be great if you are attending to watch an old movie since new released movies are only available in cinemas. In conclusion, watching a movie can happen either on your phone or in the cinema. Although, I strongly believe in order to get the whole experience you should watch a movie on your phone.
Due to the technology advancement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their portable devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that to
fully
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. Others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets. In my opinion, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and joyful, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the cinema.

Since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. Watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is not a one directional aspect. It is a multi-dimensional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For instance
, we
usually
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
with friends or family. We enjoy eating the snakes while watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on the huge screen. The atmosphere in the there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are gathered
there to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
you will hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on your phone.

On the other hand
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or tablet is more convenient.
In other words
, you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
wherever you are and whenever you want. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing you need is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet connection to stream the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
or have it downloaded earlier on your device. This could be great if you are attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
since new released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in cinemas.

In conclusion
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
can happen either on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, I
strongly
believe in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is much more convenient to watching movie on television or computer than to buy ticket and going to the cinema. In the nearest future, the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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