Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many filmmakers made movie based on books. When a movie is produced based on books, some people prefer to read books before watching films, other people choose to watch movie first. What do you think? v.1

Many filmmakers made movie based on books. When a movie is produced based on books, some people prefer to read books before watching films, other people choose to watch movie first. What do you think? v. 1
With the development of the Internet, nowadays knowledge can also be preserved electronically. Some people insist that there are more drawbacks to have the knowledge in electronic format than in books. However, I do not agree with them. It has to be admitted that the quality of the information varies a lot. There are less restrictions for people to publish articles, researches, or lectures online rather than a textbook or scientific paper. For example, sometimes even no proofread is required to upload a research article. No qualification is required to upload lecture to YouTube. However, after years of discussion, some websites have been widely recognized as reliable knowledge resources. On the other hand, people can easily access the knowledge on the Internet. A simple search in Google or Wikipedia will provide a lot of information in their database. The “find in page” function saves people’s time on locating the key words from the articles. On the contrary, looking for a specific concept from hard copy books will be very time consuming, especially for those who are new to the knowledge. What’s more, making backups of electronic knowledge costs less money and effort. With years of usage, books can be damaged inevitably. Also, it is hard to guarantee that accidents like fire hazard or an earthquake will not happen. These accidents are so deadly to the books. We will lose the books once they occur. Therefore, having backups of the knowledge becomes more and more important. In conclusion, considering the importance of efficiency and backups, it is better to have knowledge stored on the Internet even though there are drawbacks.
With the development of the Internet, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
also
be preserved
electronically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that there are more drawbacks to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in electronic format than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be admitted
that the quality of the information varies a lot. There are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun restrictions is countable.
less
restrictions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to publish articles, researches, or lectures online
rather
than a textbook or scientific paper.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even no proofread
is required
to upload a research article. No qualification
is required
to upload lecture to YouTube.
However
, after years of discussion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites have been
widely
recognized as reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
resources.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on the Internet. A simple search in Google or Wikipedia will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information in their database. The “find in page” function saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
time on locating the
Did you mean "keywords"?
key words
from the articles.
On the contrary
, looking for a specific concept from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
,
especially
for those who are new to the knowledge.

What’s more, making backups of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
costs less money and effort. With years of usage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
be damaged
inevitably
.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to guarantee that accidents like fire hazard or an earthquake will not happen. These accidents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deadly to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. We will lose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
once they occur.
Therefore
, having backups of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
becomes more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, considering the importance of efficiency and backups, it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
stored on the Internet
even though
there are drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Many filmmakers made movie based on books. When a movie is produced based on books, some people prefer to read books before watching films, other people choose to watch movie first. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts