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It is more important to learn about local history than foreign history. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Wrire at least 250 words. v.2

It is more important to learn about local history than foreign history. Wrire at least 250 words. v. 2
People have different views about the teaching of national versus global history in schools. Personally, I support the idea that children should study first and foremost the historical events of their own counties. There are several reasons why the study of global events could necessary for school pupils. Firstly, these courses provide more knowledge of the world around us. This is largely beneficial, particularly for students who will be nurturing their travel or study overseas dream. At the same time, the students could also compare global events with national ones to better understand the meaning of them. For example, the relation between the First World War and Vietnam declares its independence from France. In my opinion, schools should focus on teaching national history. From an educational perspective, children enjoy learning about where they live and by studying the ideas, culture and history of their own countries they begin to develop a sense of identity. This is likely to benefit the teachers, who could teach in different ways depending upon the local source materials and design interesting tasks for students such as interviews with local people, especially with the elderly, presentations of slides and historical photographs, and the analysis of various local documents. Furthermore, it creates a connection between generations, meaning that grandparents or parents could talk easier with children by local historical stories. In conclusion, I would argue that it is undesirable for schools to cover aspects of foreign history, they would ground their pupils in the local culture instead.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the teaching of national versus global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Personally
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that children should study
first
and foremost the historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
counties.

There are several reasons why the study of global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
could necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils.
Firstly
, these courses provide more knowledge of the world around us. This is
largely
beneficial,
particularly
for students who will be nurturing their travel or study overseas dream. At the same time, the students could
also
compare global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
with national ones to better understand the meaning of them.
For example
, the relation between the
First
World War and Vietnam declares its independence from France.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should focus on teaching national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. From an educational perspective, children enjoy learning about where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and by studying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to develop a sense of identity. This is likely to benefit the teachers, who could teach in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways depending upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
source materials and design interesting tasks for students such as interviews with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
with the elderly, presentations of slides and historical photographs, and the analysis of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
documents.
Furthermore
, it creates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
generations, meaning that grandparents or parents could talk easier with children by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
historical stories.

In conclusion
, I would argue that it is undesirable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to cover aspects of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they would ground their pupils in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture
instead
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is more important to learn about local history than foreign history. Wrire at least 250 words. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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