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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better that girls and boys should study in a separate schools. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.713

It is better that girls and boys should study in a separate schools. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 713
In the past, most schools are separated by gender because they think it was the best way to educate people equally. However, nowadays the mixed and coed universities are dominated in this society. Some people concerned that it would be better if the students study in separate schools by their gender while others disagree with it. From my sight, even though the separate schools exist for a long time, the new changes are far better in many ways. To begin with, in real life people work together despite their gender, so, the coed schools would be the best experience for the people to fit with each other. They would probably gain much experience in communicating with diverse people in coed schools that could not found in separate ones. As a result, students can improve their ability to socialize. Moreover, there are many people with the third gender exists in this world, so, it would be hard for them to decide which school to attend if they are separated by gender. As an illustration, my grandmother attended the girl' s college because it was the only choice for her. According to her, she had a difficulty to communicate with her male colleagues when she first worked in a company after graduated. Furthermore, the coed schools would probably benefit to decrease the gender inequality which is one of the pressing issues of the world. If the students attend separate schools, the requirements of them would be considerably different. For instance, physical education would be different for girls and boys, so, the teachers would behave differently which causes to increase the gap between girls and boys. Besides, in my opinion, the population of humans would also be affected by this and decrease dramatically within a few years. Indeed, the scientist proved that the brain of the boys and girls work in a different way which helps them to encourage each other. So, I think, in coed school, the students benefit from each other a lot. All in all, even though the people have different genders, they born to fit with each other well. Also, the pros of having a coed school considerably outweigh the cons of it.
In the past, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are separated
by gender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it was the best way to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
equally
.
However
, nowadays the mixed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
universities
are dominated
in this society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concerned that it would be better if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
by their gender while others disagree with it. From my sight,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
exist for a long time, the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are far better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work together despite their gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would be the best experience for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to fit with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. They would
probably
gain much experience in communicating with diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that could not
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
ones.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability to socialize.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the third gender exists in this world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to decide which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to attend if they
are separated
by gender. As an illustration, my grandmother attended the
Possible spelling mistake found.
girl&
#039; s college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choice for her. According to her, she had a difficulty to communicate with her male colleagues when she
first
worked in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
after graduated.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would
probably
benefit to decrease the gender inequality which is one of the pressing issues of the world. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, the requirements of them would be
considerably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
.
For instance
, physical education would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the teachers would behave
differently
which causes to increase the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys.
Besides
, in my opinion, the population of humans would
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this and decrease
dramatically
within a few years.
Indeed
, the scientist proved that the brain of the boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
way which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to encourage each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
benefit from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
a lot.

All in all,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genders, they born to fit with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well.
Also
, the pros of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
considerably
outweigh the cons of it.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better that girls and boys should study in a separate schools. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 713

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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