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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? An ability of read and write is more important today than in the past. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.714

An ability of read and write is more important today than in the past. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 714
Knowledge has become the vital component that build the path to success for people. However, because of the economic abyss throughout the world, most people have no opportunity to improve themselves. Some people believe that nowadays the value of an ability to read and write increased while others disagree with it. From my sight, because of many problems created by the society, people do not really pay much attention to read and write. To begin with, because the gap between rich and poor increased dramatically nowadays, even though how important the knowledge is, most people prefer to do manual labors instead. Also, those kind of jobs provide people with enough money to live because the expenses must fit with the need of dominant class of the society. This gives the wrong mentality for the public that the life can be smooth with or without knowledge and also leave a negative imitation for the younger generations who completely define the future of the country. As an illustration, one of my cousins never motivate himself to learn while he has many opportunities. When I asked him why, he said his father has no degree of university and can live better than the average, so, why he has to learn boring lessons that have no significant role for his future. Furthermore, many new careers and majors created by the people that does not require them to write or read such as video maker. Regardless of those give many new opportunities and options for the people, it also give the wrong perspective to them. For example, there are many singers who have no majors in my country and now become a popular among people which turns their life to like royals. Besides, because of the changes in the type of the society, lead people to give the whole chance to their children to do whatever they want. As a result, of course, the children will do things that appeals them, not the tiring and boring study. From my personal experience, I am the lucky one who has a parents always motivate me and push me to beyond limits while my friends hang out everyday without pay any attention to their academics. All in all, everything of the modern world suggests people to live without knowing the importance of the knowledge which causes the considerable decrease of the value of an abilities to read and write.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
has become the vital component that build the path to success for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economic abyss throughout the world, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that nowadays the value of an ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and write increased while others disagree with it. From my sight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems created by the society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
really
pay much attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and write.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the gap between rich and poor increased
dramatically
nowadays,
even though
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do manual labors
instead
.
Also
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of jobs provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fit with the need of dominant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the society. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
mentality for the public that the life can be smooth with or without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
imitation for the younger generations who completely define the future of the country. As an illustration, one of my cousins never motivate himself to learn while he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities. When I asked him why, he said his father has no degree of university and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better than the average,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, why he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn boring lessons that have no significant role for his future.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new careers and majors created by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that does not require them to write or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
such as video maker. Regardless of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new opportunities and options for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
also
Did you mean "gives"?
give
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
perspective to them.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
singers who have no majors in my country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which turns their life to like royals.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the type of the society, lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the whole chance to their children to do whatever they want.
As a result
,
of course
, the children will do things that appeals them, not the tiring and boring study. From my personal experience, I am the lucky one who has
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a parent" or simply "parents"?
a parents
always motivate me and push me to beyond limits while my friends hang out
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
without pay any attention to their academics.

All in all, everything of the modern world suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without knowing the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which causes the considerable decrease of the value of
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an ability" or simply "abilities"?
an abilities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and write.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay An ability of read and write is more important today than in the past. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 714

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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