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Foreign tourist abroad should be charged more than local people to visit a country’s cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words v.1

Foreign tourist abroad should be charged more than local people to visit a country’s cultural and historical attractions. v. 1
NOWADAYS, SCHOOLS ARE NOW FACING A LOT OF ISSUES WITH THEIR STUDENTS BEHAVIOR AND THEIR ATTITUDE. THIS IS HAPPENING IN VARIOUS NATIONS. IN THE FIRST PART OF THE ESSAY, I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THE POSSIBLE CAUSES AND IN THE SECOND PART, I WILL EXPLAIN ABOUT THE MEASURES TO BE TAKEN TO RESOLVE THE ISSUE. FIRSTLY, THE CHANGE IN THEIR BEHAVIOUR COULD BE BECAUSE OF THE PRESSURE THEY ARE FACING. THE EXPECTATIONS ON THE CURRENT GENERATION CHILD IN TERMS OF THEIR EDUCATION ARE ABOVE THEIR LIMITS. CURRICULLAM FOR A SEVENTH GRADE STUDENT IN THE PAST IS NOW ALLOCATED FOR A FORTH GRADE STUDENT IN ALMOST EVERY COUNTRY. FOUR TIMES EXAMINATIONS IN AN ACADEMIC YEAR MAKING THEM MENTALLY CRIPPLED. FOR EXAMPLE, MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER IS NOW STUDYING IN KOREA, DUE TO AN IMMENSE PRESSURE IN THE SCHOOL. SHE STARTED HATING TEACHERS AND SHE WENT TO COMA FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS. POSTIVE CHANGES COULD BE SEEN IN A CHILD IF THERE IS A BALANCE BETWEEN THEIR STUDIES AND OTHER ACTIVITIES THEY ARE INTERESTED IN. SCHOOLS SHOULD MAINTAIN A COURSE DEPENDING UPON THE STUDENTS AGE FACTOR. SCHOOLS ALSO SHOULD ALSO TRY TO IMPLEMENT EXTRA SPORTS SESSIONS FOR THEIR REFRESHMENTS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. TEACHER'S SHOULD ALSO EXPLAIN THE IMPORTANCE OF MORAL SCIENCES IN EVERY INDIVIDUAL'S LIFE. FOR EXAMPLE, A SCHOOL FROM HYDERABAD ARE OFFERING MEDITATION AND MORAL SCIENCES AS A SUBJECT TO IMPROVE STUDENTS BEHAVIOUR. IN CONCLUSION, BEHAVIOURAL CHANGES COULD BE MOSTLY DUE TO OVER EXPECTATIONS ON THE CHILD BY IMPLEMENTING A CURRICULAM WHICH IS ABOVE THEIR MENTAL STAMINA. FEW CHANGES IN THE COURSE CONTENTS, PROVIDING ADDITIONAL CLASSES RELATED TO SPORTS AND MORAL SCIENCES COULD RESOLVE THE STUDENTS BEHAVIOURAL ISSUES.
NOWADAYS,
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SCHOOLS
ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
FACING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
ISSUES WITH THEIR
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STUDENTS
BEHAVIOR AND THEIR ATTITUDE. THIS IS HAPPENING IN VARIOUS NATIONS. IN THE
FIRST
PART OF THE ESSAY, I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THE POSSIBLE CAUSES AND IN THE SECOND PART, I WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
ABOUT THE MEASURES TO
BE TAKEN
TO RESOLVE THE ISSUE.

FIRSTLY
, THE
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CHANGE
IN THEIR
Possible spelling mistake. 'BEHAVIOUR' is British English.
BEHAVIOUR
COULD BE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THE PRESSURE THEY ARE FACING. THE EXPECTATIONS ON THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CURRENT
GENERATION CHILD IN TERMS OF THEIR EDUCATION ARE ABOVE THEIR LIMITS.
Possible spelling mistake found.
CURRICULLAM
FOR A SEVENTH GRADE
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STUDENT
IN THE PAST IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
ALLOCATED FOR A FORTH GRADE
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STUDENT
IN ALMOST EVERY COUNTRY. FOUR TIMES EXAMINATIONS IN AN ACADEMIC YEAR MAKING THEM MENTALLY CRIPPLED.
FOR EXAMPLE
, MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
STUDYING IN KOREA, DUE TO AN IMMENSE PRESSURE IN THE
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SCHOOL
. SHE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTED
HATING TEACHERS AND SHE WENT TO COMA FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS.

Possible spelling mistake found.
POSTIVE
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CHANGES
COULD BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
IN A CHILD IF THERE IS A BALANCE BETWEEN THEIR STUDIES AND OTHER ACTIVITIES THEY
ARE INTERESTED
IN.
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SCHOOLS
SHOULD MAINTAIN A COURSE DEPENDING UPON THE
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STUDENTS
AGE FACTOR.
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SCHOOLS
ALSO
SHOULD
ALSO
TRY TO IMPLEMENT EXTRA SPORTS SESSIONS FOR THEIR REFRESHMENTS
PHYSICALLY
AND MENTALLY. TEACHER'S SHOULD
ALSO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
THE IMPORTANCE OF MORAL SCIENCES IN EVERY INDIVIDUAL'S LIFE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, A
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SCHOOL
FROM HYDERABAD ARE OFFERING MEDITATION AND MORAL SCIENCES AS A SUBJECT TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
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STUDENTS
Possible spelling mistake. 'BEHAVIOUR' is British English.
BEHAVIOUR
.

IN CONCLUSION
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'BEHAVIOURAL' is British English.
BEHAVIOURAL
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CHANGES
COULD BE
MOSTLY
DUE TO OVER EXPECTATIONS ON THE CHILD BY IMPLEMENTING A
Possible spelling mistake found.
CURRICULAM
WHICH IS ABOVE THEIR MENTAL STAMINA. FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHANGES
IN THE COURSE CONTENTS, PROVIDING ADDITIONAL CLASSES RELATED TO SPORTS AND MORAL SCIENCES COULD RESOLVE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
Possible spelling mistake. 'BEHAVIOURAL' is British English.
BEHAVIOURAL
ISSUES.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Foreign tourist abroad should be charged more than local people to visit a country’s cultural and historical attractions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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