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It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Since the beginning of the 21st century, people have used different methods of communication, either in their social lives, or in their business. Some people believe that using technology in communication has become more common that traditional face to face meeting, while others argue that face to face meeting is essential and can not be replaced by the advancement in technologies. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communication. Using technologies either in social or business communication has many advantages. This using enables people to communicate with each others, regardless the far distances. For example, people who live in China can talk to people who reside in Jordan without any difficulties, so this development can enable people performing their businesses throughout the world very easily. Therefore, it seems clear that adopting advancement technologies in communication has a great benefit of social and business life. On the other, some people think that using these technologies could affect badly on family relationships. Due to these technologies, family members stopped communicating regularly, and the family gathering has become rare. Recent research, which has conducted in the USA, has shown that 95% of family members prefer to communicate with their families using Skype or Tango rather than face to face meeting. These people are unaware of the fact that using these technologies are invented for the people who live at far distances to help them to communicate easily. Thus, communication using technological devices has a great benefit. In conclusion, this essay discussed the positive and negative sides of using technologies in communication. In my opinion, I believe that these technologies have a positive impact on both the family members' relationships and on the business.
Since the beginning of the 21st century,
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people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, either in their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, or in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has become more common that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
meeting, while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
meeting is essential and can not
be replaced
by the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for communication.

Using
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technologies
either in social or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. This using enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
, regardless the far distances.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in China can talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reside in Jordan without any difficulties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this development can enable
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people
performing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
throughout the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
Therefore
, it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that adopting advancement
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technologies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has a great benefit of social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
life.

On the other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
could affect
badly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. Due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
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family
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
communicating
regularly
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gathering has become rare. Recent research, which has conducted in the USA, has shown that 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members prefer to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
using Skype or Tango
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
meeting. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of the fact that using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are invented
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at far distances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to communicate
easily
.
Thus
,
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communication
using technological devices has a great benefit.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. In my opinion, I believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members' relationships and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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