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Think of one place where you have never visited but where you would really like to go. Explain what it is that interests you about this place. v.1

Think of one place where you have never visited but where you would really like to go. Explain what it is that interests you about this place. v. 1
Pollution and climatic change are two of the major environmental issues faced by the world today. As everyone is aware about the gravity of the situation, many global decisions have been made to ameliorate the situation, but alternatively, these solutions have not given very positive results. This essay will discuss why these solutions have not turned out to be effective and will propose some solutions to the current problem. First and foremost, the protocols made are not followed throughout the world. They are only followed by a few countries, due to which there are no positive transitions seen overall. For instance, Montreal summit held in 1990s regarding the concern of Ozone layer depletion and the climatic change due to global warming decided to prohibit the emission of chlorofluorocarbons and carbon monoxide worldwide. While some countries such as Canada and Australia took stringent actions to eradicate these substances, countries like China and India continued its use. Owing to it, condition of ozone layer aggravated. Secondly, no serious actions are taken against the countries who promote environmental hazardous activities. For instance, deforestation is banned in many countries, yet illegal cutting of trees is taking place there as authorities are not strict enough to take any actions against them. To ameliorate the current situation, a pragmatic approach is required rather than a feudal one. Hence, feasible regulations should be made which are acceptable to follow and its effects can be seen urgently in the coming future rather than some long term plans. Secondly, the government has to agree to invest a huge amount of money for this concern. Thirdly, hefty penalties should be imposed on the countries who refuse to follow or break the rules made to protect the environment. In conclusion, as countries are solicitous about the environment, many regulations are made every year to protect it. However, as its implementation is not done properly worldwide, most of them have proved as a failure. Hence, a better approach is required from them people who are concerned about mother earth's future.
Pollution and climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are two of the major environmental issues faced by the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. As everyone is aware about the gravity of the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
global decisions have
been made
to ameliorate the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
alternatively
, these solutions have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results. This essay will discuss why these solutions have not turned out to be effective and will propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problem.

First
and foremost, the protocols made are not followed throughout the world. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
followed by a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, due to which there are no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
transitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
overall
.
For instance
, Montreal summit held
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
regarding the concern of Ozone layer depletion and the climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
due to global warming decided to prohibit the emission of chlorofluorocarbons and carbon monoxide worldwide. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Canada and Australia took stringent actions to eradicate these substances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like China and India continued its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Owing to it, condition of ozone layer aggravated.
Secondly
, no serious actions
are taken
against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who promote environmental hazardous activities.
For instance
, deforestation
is banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
yet
illegal cutting of trees is taking place there as authorities are not strict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take any actions against them.

To ameliorate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, a pragmatic approach
is required
rather
than a feudal one.
Hence
, feasible regulations should
be made
which are acceptable to follow and its effects can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
urgently
in the coming future
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
long term plans.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to invest a huge amount of money for this concern.
Thirdly
, hefty penalties should
be imposed
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who refuse to follow or break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
made to protect the environment.

In conclusion
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are solicitous about the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regulations
are made
every year to protect it.
However
, as its implementation is not done
properly
worldwide, most of them have proved as a failure.
Hence
, a better approach
is required
from them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are concerned
about mother earth's future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Think of one place where you have never visited but where you would really like to go. Explain what it is that interests you about this place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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