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It is known to all that the technological and scientific advances have made great changes to the range and quality of our food. Some people regard it as an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion? v.1

It is known to all that the technological and scientific advances have made great changes to the range and quality of our food. Some people regard it as an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. v. 1
In recent years, technology and science have significantly impacted the food industry. Some would argue that it is a positive development, while others think that this is hazardous. While having these improvements may not sound a good idea to some, I wholeheartedly believe that this will be advantageous for society. On the one hand, these scientific techniques have brought a revolution in food production while producing them on a large scale and also set hygiene benchmarks. Factories and farmers are equipping themselves with the latest machinery which will facilitate mass production of packed food and crops respectively. These machines ensure that while making a product how much quantities of certain elements are suitable for intake. For example, the Green Revolution in India, which happened after Independence, supported the rapidly growing population of the country. If a nation doesn’t incorporate such advancements, this will negatively impact the growing number of citizens directly. On the other hand, some nutritionists believe that the mass production of food mostly involves compromise in the quality and nutritional value. In order to stay fit and healthy, it is imperative to get all the needed nutrients from our diet. However, a plethora of additives, flavours and preservatives are added to the food before packing them into fancy-looking packets. Farmers also use a lot of pesticides and insecticides to treat their crops and all this result in the degradation of the quality of food. For instance, one of my friends is a food inspector in food authority of India told me about how his team busted a racket in a factory producing noodles when they were using toxic elements like lead just because it makes noodles shiny after cooking. Therefore, such additives are harmful to our health. In my opinion, it is extremely important to use technology and science to improve food scarcity in the world. As we are progressing towards mid of the 21st century the number of people living in the world is exponentially increasing hence we need to value the contribution of science in the food industry. There may be some adulteration in food but we need to make a wise judgement to choose best and trusted brands for our intake. In conclusion, although along with scientific improvements foods are adulterated, it does not mean every single food products in the market are compromised with quality. These technological improvements are the viable solution to the booming population of the world and we should incorporate these in our eating habits.
In recent years, technology and science have
significantly
impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is hazardous. While having these improvements may not sound a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, I
wholeheartedly
believe that this will be advantageous for society.

On the one hand, these scientific techniques have brought a revolution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production while producing them on a large scale and
also
set hygiene benchmarks. Factories and farmers are equipping themselves with the latest machinery which will facilitate mass production of packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and crops
respectively
. These machines ensure that while making a product how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
quantities of certain elements are suitable for intake.
For example
, the Green Revolution in India, which happened after Independence, supported the
rapidly
growing population of the country. If a nation doesn’t incorporate such advancements, this will
negatively
impact the growing number of citizens
directly
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nutritionists believe that the mass production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
mostly
involves compromise in the quality and nutritional value. In order to stay fit and healthy, it is imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the needed nutrients from our diet.
However
, a plethora of additives,
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
and preservatives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
packing them into fancy-looking packets. Farmers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pesticides and insecticides to treat their crops and all this result in the degradation of the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, one of my friends is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
inspector in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
authority of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about how his team busted a racket in a factory producing noodles when they were using toxic elements like lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
noodles shiny after cooking.
Therefore
, such additives are harmful to our health.

In my opinion, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology and science to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity in the world. As we are progressing towards mid of the 21st century the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the world is
exponentially
increasing
hence
we need to value the contribution of science in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry. There may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adulteration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wise judgement to choose best and trusted brands for our intake.

In conclusion
, although along with scientific improvements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are adulterated
, it does not mean every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products in the market
are compromised
with quality. These technological improvements are the viable solution to the booming population of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
we should incorporate these in our eating habits.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is known to all that the technological and scientific advances have made great changes to the range and quality of our food. Some people regard it as an improvement while others believe that the change is harmful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
414 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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