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The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while others believe that it is harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while others believe that it is harmful. v. 2
It is often said that scientific technology plays a prominent role in society. Due to this phenomenon, the amount and quality of food change in the way of public purchasing. However, some people accept this change as a definite improvement, whereas their counterparts state this modification is detrimental. On the one hand, It is often said that technology and scientific advances bring numerous benefits for communities. Due to this progression in scientific technology, scientists, biologists, and botanists harvest excess quantity and quality of food within a short period. To elaborate, in Laboratories, scientists experiment on gene therapy on plants which might cultivate on any land, even on drought-prone areas. In addition to this, some plant diseases are prevented at early stages with scientific technology. Therefore, crops flourish and produce excess food for the communities. On the other hand, even though scientific technology has positive, there are negatives which are associated with advances in technology, such as it develops health problems to people. Spraying numerous pesticides on crops to prevent microorganisms might produce adulterated food, which leads to some severe health hazards, such as obesity, heart problems, and early stage of Visual impairments when communities consume this non-organic food frequently. Furthermore, forcefully harvesting crops within a short period than the average cultivating period with scientific technology advances might cause ecological imbalance. Therefore, certain parts of the world were abandoned scientific technology on food production. In conclusion, to my mind, technology and scientific advances on food production have its own merits and demerits. positives such as excess food production and negatives like health hazards. It seems scientific technology should utilize wisely based on communities requirement.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a prominent role in society. Due to this phenomenon, the amount and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the way of public purchasing.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accept this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
improvement, whereas their counterparts state this modification is detrimental.

On the one hand, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
advances bring numerous benefits for communities. Due to this progression in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, scientists, biologists, and botanists harvest excess quantity and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
within a short period. To elaborate, in Laboratories, scientists experiment on gene therapy on plants which might cultivate on any land, even on drought-prone areas.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plant diseases are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
at early stages with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Therefore
, crops flourish and produce excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the communities.

On the other hand
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, there are negatives which
are associated
with advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, such as it develops health problems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Spraying numerous pesticides on crops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
microorganisms might produce adulterated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe health hazards, such as obesity, heart problems, and early stage of Visual impairments when communities consume this non-organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
frequently
.
Furthermore
,
forcefully
harvesting crops within a short
Use "(period)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
period
than the average cultivating period with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advances might cause ecological imbalance.
Therefore
, certain parts of the world
were abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production.

In conclusion
, to my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
advances on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
positives
such as excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production and negatives like health hazards. It seems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should utilize
wisely
based on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "communities'" or "community's"?
communities
requirement.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while others believe that it is harmful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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