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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 4

Nowadays, it has detected a boost of the crime in many nations. Personally, I think the two main causes of this is for the consume of drugs and the social inequality. However, I believe that people could cope with those problems, provided that they would elect better authorities that might control this situation. The most dangerous countries are located in South America, which are: Colombia, Mexico and Brasil, all of them are related to drugs. Cocaine and other addictions create several money, then for conserving the business, there are a lot of “hit men” who are being able to do many murders. Also, those people enter into this dark world, for the reason that in their life they have had fewer opportunities in the life, so they feel that do not have nothing to lose and the world is unfair to them. On the other hand, I believe that we can change a little bit this trouble, in first place if we choose the correct politics in the power. In my view, governments should try to control of the drug trafficking, perhaps with the extradition to the USA. Conversely, politics ought to encourage to do programs to combat the social inequality, for instance, to a destiny more money for improving education for poor people. In conclusion, several nations have increased the numbers of crimes. This reality is happening likely for the drug trafficking and for the lack of opportunities that the system offer. Nonetheless, never is late to male changes to cope this reality, which can be elect better authorities that fight for doing a fair society.

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.4

Nowadays, it has detected a boost of the crime in
many
nations.
Personally
, I
think
the two main causes of this is for
the consume
of
drugs
and the social inequality.
However
, I believe that
people
could cope with those problems, provided that they would elect better authorities that might control this situation. The most
dangerous
countries
are located
in South America, which are: Colombia, Mexico and
Brasil
, all of them
are related
to
drugs
. Cocaine and other addictions create
several money
, then for conserving the business, there are
a lot of
“hit
men
” who are being able to do
many
murders.
Also
, those
people
enter into this dark world, for the reason that in their life they have had fewer opportunities in the life,
so
they feel that do
not have nothing
to lose and the world is unfair to them.
On the other hand
, I believe that we can
change
a
little bit
this trouble, in
first
place if we choose the correct politics in the power. In my view,
governments
should try to control of the
drug
trafficking, perhaps with the extradition to the USA.
Conversely
, politics ought to encourage
to do
programs to combat the social inequality,
for instance
, to a destiny more money for improving education for poor
people
.
In conclusion
, several nations have increased the numbers of crimes. This reality is happening likely for the
drug
trafficking and for the lack of opportunities that the system offer. Nonetheless,
never is
late to male
changes
to cope this reality, which can be elect better authorities that fight for doing a
fair
society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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