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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.16

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 16
It is believed that the development of technology will lead to the loss of traditional cultures in some nations, and they definitely cannot coexist. Personally, I partially disagree with this idea because except for communication, I believe that technological advancement plays a constructive role in fostering these cultures in other aspects. On the one hand, it is breakthroughs in technology that make a contribution to the disappearance of traditional methods in communication. To be specific, in the past, people mainly held face-to-face conversations with those in their communities or wrote letters to long-distance relatives. However, phones and computers have gradually overtaken those communicative approaches. These days, they tend to make phone calls and send emails rather than talking man-to-man and using handwritten letters as these modern methods are more convenient and time saving. On the other hand, technological advances undeniably help to preserve traditional cultures. Thanks to the mass media, people can effortlessly obtain a copious amount of knowledge about different cultures in the world. Additionally, should a culture be well-known, it will be conserved and developed by not only its communities but the government as well. Buddhism in Thailand is a vivid example. With the help of social media, residents in other continents, such as Europe and America, know and are attracted by this special tradition, thereby visiting this country. To promote tourism, authorities have invested in the preservation and development of this culture. In conclusion, despite resulting in changes in communication, technology has obviously encouraged traditional cultures to thrive. My view is that technology and cultures are compatible, and humans should utilize the latest technologies to preserve traditional values.
It
is believed
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will lead to the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, and they definitely cannot coexist.
Personally
, I
partially
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
communication, I believe that technological advancement plays a constructive role in fostering these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in other aspects.

On the one hand, it is breakthroughs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
methods in communication. To be specific, in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mainly
held face-to-face conversations with those in their communities or wrote letters to long-distance relatives.
However
, phones and computers have
gradually
overtaken those communicative approaches. These days, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
phone calls and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
emails
rather
than talking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-to-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and using handwritten letters as these modern methods are more convenient and time saving.

On the other hand
, technological advances
undeniably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Thanks to the mass media,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
effortlessly
obtain a copious amount of knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in the world.
Additionally
, should a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
be well-known, it will
be conserved
and developed by not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
its communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
. Buddhism in Thailand is a vivid example. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social media, residents in other continents, such as Europe and America, know and
are attracted
by this special tradition, thereby visiting this country. To promote tourism, authorities have invested in the preservation and development of this culture.

In conclusion
, despite resulting in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
obviously
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to thrive. My view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are compatible, and humans should utilize the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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